Just Some Random Sex Thinks

I am so sick of this. Nearly every time I masturbate using just my fingers or sex toy that is clean I will get a UTI. I have had it up to my neck and ears over this. I need to have a orgasm every so often to unwind and relax and ease headaches and jaw pain and back pain. I mean what is wrong with it. NOTHING! I am sick of it cuz my fingers only use the lub from my hole to my clit no where going at my pee pee hole. I am wondering if I am allergic to my own vag juices or any stimulation that might cause swelling or stress on muscles or swellings or blood flow.

I am dam sick of it. I have nothing else to enjoy in life and I nearly 40. I have never had a loving boyfriend or husband or good sex other then great self sex. I wish I could find someone who just loved me for as I am and I could lose weight doing sex as my exercise.

I really like my instructional code agent and he is so hot and 35. Lucky for me I like younger men. He looks so sexy. Sandy hard blonde hair and I'm at the point of "keep it crazy love honey". I wish he would ask me out for lunch or a date night and I have wondered if I should ask him. I wish I could just ask him for sex nothing fancy just good sex. If I could only. I am afraid I would crush him with my fat stomach and big fat tits and ass. I think of him when I am alone and sex out for a while.

Of course I have tried every diet under the sun or on this satanic earth. starving is a great option in the short term. I sometimes wish I was alone or my family was dead or if I moved to a house of my own I could choose when to eat and I would get men wanting me anyway if I had money and I just wouldn't eat as much as my mother stuffs down my mouth. That woman gives me the complete shits the way she has shoved food down my throat and I want some dick down my throat thanks.


as you can tell I am from a very religious family so I am flat out having a mind of my own ! let alone a good sex date.

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