Confused

I had oral sex with my 55 year old neighbour years ago,I was 26. Then I stopped talking to him as I felt ashamed and guilty... recently we reconnected and he said he loves me and wants to marry me. My family is strict so they surely won't agree due to age and religion.But still I can't stop thinking abt him...we are talking everyday now and I think I am falling for him. I am confused because I want him but I don't want to go against my family...he is currently in his native country, coming back here in few weeks.Planning to meet him...as we miss each other alot... I am worried I might end up losing my virginity to him as I really loved his way with me last time we were together...his tongue was magically moving in and out of me.

I am scared and confused.

PS: The oral sex was only foreplay with licks and sucks,I didn't allow penetration as I was scared and wanted to remain virgin till I get married. He respected my decision.

I love you Zal bby.