My One Time I Did Act Out My Gay Fantasy With Another Man

For the last ten years or so I have been reading gay novels, stories, confessions, sex between men. I always identify with the one on the bottom. A big man on me with his cock in me. But it has always been in the realm of fantasy. I was married for 23 years to a nice woman, she lost her battle with cancer when she was only 43 and I was left alone. At the time I still lived in our house and I frequented this pizza parlor and there was a man that also came there and we got to become dinner partners. Along the way he told me that he dated other men. That's how I started to go down the rabbit hole of other men because I could see myself kissing him. As a matter of fact I masturbated to the thought of kissing him and being his fuck buddy. But it never happened.

So from time to time I started to go on gay websites. At the time CL was alive and well and I would make arrangements but never followed through. I joined a couple of gay dating sites for older men, CAFMOS and such. But never followed through. Still I spent a good amount of time watching porn and I always identified with the man on the bottom. The bigger and heavier the man on top the more I knew that was my idea of what I wanted. At the hardware store was a man who fit that description. But again I never followed through.

Then six months ago I got a call from an old college friend. He is a part time professor for a small college and teaches Agriculture. He had to come to my city for a couple of days and he looked up college alums and found me and asked if he could bunk with me. I of course accepted. He came and we ordered dinner and had some wine and caught up on the past. We decided to watch a movie and I got into a pair of pajama bottoms and a T shirt and he got into his boxers and a T shirt. From where I sat I could see his penis under his boxers. I kept looking at it during the movie. Then I started to look at his mouth and wanted to kiss him, I wanted to kiss his penis. I fantasized that he was on my back on my bed and his penis was in me. I fantasized, and he noticed.

He got up and went to the kitchen for water, he came back and leaned over and kissed me on the mouth. He told me he was watching me. Maybe we should do something else. He took his penis out of his boxers and offered it to me. I took it in my hand and I put his penis in my mouth and he took my head in his hands and started to stroke in and out of my mouth as he got harder and harder. He stopped and leaned down and kissed me again, this time slipping his tongue in my mouth. He got down between my lets and pulled my pajamas and underwear down and stroked my penis and put it in his mouth. He stood over me and told me to lay back and he got on top of me and started to hump me while he kissed me. I opened my legs to hold him and we fought to get our clothes off as he ground his penis against mine.

We didn't have anything to use so he just forced himself in me, bit by bit. It hurt but it felt good. I had always imagined being penetrated from behind, not in the missionary position. After a while he was in and he fucked me, not really sliding in and out but pushing in and out and he came. He pulled out and went to the kitchen and used a dishtowel to clean off. That night he slept with me in my bed and the next day we did have sex with him on my back.

That was six months ago. We stay in touch but he lives in another city and I have no reason to travel there and he has had no reason to return. I fantasize about him a lot. Now my fantasy has a face. I try to be brave and agree to see some of the men I meet on these dating sights but I get cold feet and don't go.