I'm Really Sorry I Killed A Man.

Over 50 years ago, I was a long haul trucker. Back then, there were no rest laws or driver logs and drivers were encouraged to drive much more than safely possible. I was driving late one night and something hit my truck right between the headlights. I stopped to see what it was and found an orange hat stuck in my grill. I jogged back 50 yards and found the body of a man just barely on the shoulder of the pavement.

He was dressed in all camo and had a large hiking pack barely strapped to his body. I guessed he was a hunter who misjudged my speed as he ran across the interstate. Getting hit by a truck at 70+ MPH destroys a body. I couldn't even estimate an age for you. It was an accident and I should have called someone, but I couldn't change what happened to him and was scared of what would happen to me. I panicked and pulled what I could off the shoulder and left him there in the tall grass.

Hours later, my head was clearer and I knew my trucking company would see the damage and someone would figure out what happened. As I drove, pondering how I just killed a man and how my life was over, I hit something else. This time, it burst and there was blood everywhere.

I stopped the truck in the middle of the lane and sat there stunned. I don't know how long I sat there before I noticed the blue lights behind me and the State Trooper knocking on my windows.

When I looked at him and realized he was Police, I raised my hands waiting to be arrested. He motioned for me to unlock the door. I did and he opened the door asking if I was injured. My head wasn't completely clear yet and I wasn't responding coherently to his questions until I heard him say "...deer".

I said, "What?".

"You hit a deer." he says sounding concerned.

He said he just got on the interstate and behind me when I hit it.

I get out to have a look and there was a deer stuck between the bumper guards and the grill and right there between the headlights.

The Trooper wrote a brief report for our company insurance that just read:
"Deer strike. I-XX. Mile marker XXX. No injuries. Property damage only. Drivable".

He asked if I wanted the deer, but I wanted no part of it and he wrapped it in a tarp and shoved it into his trunk. Any evidence of what happened earlier was pressure washed away at the next truck stop and eaten by the Trooper.

I don't know how long it was before the hunters body was found and I never heard or read about it in the news. I was out in the middle of nowhere and between any cities or towns so I wouldn't even know which newspapers to research. I do know I kept driving for several hours after it happened and was deep into the next state. For days, weeks, and months I was certain I would eventually be arrested.

I know if you watch your local news and see a report of a hit and run, most will wonder what kind of person would do that. I wasn't drunk or high. Despite what I did that night, I still see myself as a good person. I was just a sleepy kid, barely 21, who got into an accident and was scared. I truly am very sorry.