In Love But I Can Never Let Her Know

I put lesbian because I believe I am a lesbian. I am however in the closet and intend on staying there. I am married, married a man with a lot of promise and I have the enviable life of being a stay at home mom of three beautiful children. I live a good life, my husband provides for his family very well. Bottom line I have no intention of ruining my life over some girl, regardless of how hard I have a crush on her.

So what do I do to get off. Man sex doesn't do it, I have to fake it and usually I fall into my fantasy lover dream when my husband is banging away at me. I watch porn, it's easy. I do not like rough stuff, I am a romantic at heart and I really get off to lesbian stories of girls struggling with their feelings and finding true love with a equally nice girl. The fantasy. On the other side of the equation is the down and out girl who is being torn apart by the butch headmistress of the local orphanage and she is crying and wailing while her pussy is being devoured. That too is a fantasy.

It's in between. Not a romantic setting, something more usual. Like a waitress who meets another waitress and they get along and one day the other waitress grabs her hand to walk across the street and they keep holding hands. They get to the apartment, a small low rent waitress apartment and they straighten up because the bed's not made and there are dirty dishes in the sink. Then the pee scene, the house girl follows the other girl into the bathroom while she pees and keeps the conversation going and comments on what a nice job she's done on her pussy, and then gently reaches down and runs two fingers up and down her crack and leans over to kiss her. That's my kind of fantasy because that is pretty much what happened to me in college.

Don't get me wrong I am a lesbian and I am horny as hell for this woman who works at the design center and we have had lunch many times and I am sure beyond sure she is as lesbian as I am. But I am married to a great man, I have the dream family, I live in a real nice neighborhood and my house is everything a woman could want. And I need the help of an interior decorator and that's why I went to the design center to look at fabrics and one look, just one look at her and I fell in love with her and I can't get her out of my mind. I LOVE her. Not just a crush. I LOVE her. But my husband can never know he married a girl who used to eat pussy and suck on tits and give other girls hickies.

I need him to fuck me and get this woman out of my mind.