Shortly after the tragic events of 9/11/01, the family man across the street set about the construction of a monumental plaza in his front yard with a U.S. Flag as a centerpiece. For days, he busily set up concrete forms for the multi-tiered edifice which stands about five feet tall and set up the public building style flagpole, ran up a huge American flag, and sat back to admire his work.
All good and fine. Old Glory flew throughout the first day and throughout the night as well. Flag Guy neglected to install lights to illuminate the flag in its vigil, but what the hey.........
Soon, it was impossible to escape notice that Flag Guy had NO intention of ever lowering the colors. It flapped through torrential downpours and snowstorms, through high winds and hail and all that Montana weather could throw our way.
He did dip the Flag to half mast when Ronnie Reagan died, so he apparently has at least some rudimentary flag ettiquette awareness.

Soon, of course, the fabric of the Flag began to fray and tear. The Flag looked as though it had been through one hell of a battle.
Within this time, he succeeded in running over his family pet dog that had suddenly ran out from the massive concrete base which obscures about 3/4's of his yard from view in his massive SUV.
You might have thought that event would have given him a caution & slowed him down from his characteristic full-throttle-in-reverse exits from his drive, but no, it did not.
He has come very near to running down numerous pedestrians who suddenly emerge into view in the killing zone at the end of the drive; passing vehicles have had to swerve wildly to avoid him; he has, on at least two occasions (I am aware of) nearly crushed his own children in the drive when they suddenly ran out from behind the base of his flagpole and into the driveway.
In any event, the children and the guy's wife(?) have been extremely noticeable by their absense all summer. Thinking perhaps they had gone on a lengthy vacation, I was interested to see if they would appear at the beginning of the school year, but they did not.
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Old Glory still flaps constantly over Fort Solitude across the street.

Comments

Anonymous

by Anonymous on Feb 26, 2005 at 10:41 AM

They may have skipped town. If the house is empty, you can lower Old Glory and give it to the American Legion for a proper burning (that's what they do with dilapidated flags).

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Feb 28, 2005 at 10:58 AM

Perhaps the wife(?) and children didn't show proper respect for flag guy's flag fetish and they are now sharing space with the dog. Maybe they are all under the base of flag guy's obvious phallic symbol.

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Mar 17, 2005 at 9:05 PM

Flag guy sounds like he'd be a great recruit for GWB's 'Crusade' in the middle east. Gotta do his patriotic bit and all that. Just strap a heap of explosive to him and send him in. BANG!!.... give 'em a taste of their own medicine.

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Mar 18, 2005 at 7:10 AM

I think "Flag Guy" is a metaphor of post-911 America.
The wife(?) and kids ain't comin' back for a long time.

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