I Have No Explanation For What I Did, Or Excuse.

In the 7th grade I sucked another boy's cock and he sucked mine. We grew up, I went to law, he became a gay activist. He returned to our home town and at a get together where both of us were there he was challenged for his views. He said a lot, including telling those that were there that we had sucked together. Effectively outing me for a one time thing.

I had to face the humiliation, the vulgar words, my wife and mother. What was just two boys, became two men in the minds of those from my hometown. I never returned, kept myself away, my wife and I divorced. That one comment, defending himself, pilloried me and ruined my life.

Over the following twenty five years I never married, became involved with various women. Until one evening, out for dinner alone I got into a conversation with a man at the next table. From dinner to talking for an hour beside my car. We agreed to a drink at a bar. I had several Manhattans, and woke up in bed with him.

I won't claim I don't remember, I was as active as he was. It was raw sex between two men. I was angry, in my mind I was getting revenge from those who had sidelined me. Revenge was sweet. The man was active. He had picked me up, and that night I participated accepting my role.

Not once since that day has that happened again. I have a form of peace now. That's all.