What Am I?

Growing up, I was THE tomboy of the neighborhood. The girl ALWAYS on her bike, with the overalls and tennis shoes, climbing trees and getting into fights. Hated wearing makeup or having long hair. In high school, lacrosse team and rifle team, barely any tits when they came in (nice ass, though), and was accused of being a lesbian many time over (more fights ensued).

I've never been a lesbian, though. I LOVE dick and the dick I own and enjoy, Robert, I met in high school and fell for from the get. I had detention and went to the wrong room where the Dungeons & Dragons club was meeting. And that changed everything for me - playing pretend with Robert and his dorky friends. I was the Barbarian warrior with insatiable appetites, the character that tried to seduce dragons and lopped off heads with ease. Robert of course played the thoughtful wizard, delicate, needing protecting.

Fast forward to college, we go to the same one and there have four years of being left alone - no more fighting with girls who called me butch or dyke. I played lacrosse there and I think I was pretty good. You'd see me as the girl who was always dressed like she was about to play sports, you know? We kept playing D&D, but more of our roleplaying moved to sex where we explored one another and tried things. I learned I love being VERY dominant and commanding, riding on top, and masturbating. My GOD I masturbated so much in college, any chance I got.

Now we're married, no kids (not a fan of children - I'm just not a nurturer). And we're starting to have some problems fitting in with other couples in our neighborhood. More traditional women aren't nice to me at all, and the fact that we are childless keeps us out of certain circles. So I push closer to Robert, which means more sex and control from me.

I put him on his knees to suck my clit, finger my pussy, and grind my hairy snatch in his face. I wish I could squirt - I fantasize about covering his face in my girlcum. I tell him, "take out your dick now" whenever I want it and suck him hard and fast. I've pegged his ass, fingered his ass, worked that prostate and made him cry out for me, cumming hard while he reaches for me and buries his face in my chest. I've made him cry and held him close to me, soothing him and putting him back together. I've made him wear panties and that turned me on immensely, but I still want that dick underneath like you wouldn't believe.

I don't know what I am and it hurts me. Robert is content to be softspoken and controlled, but no one questions him or ostracizes him as he appears like a normal guy. I drive our car 90% of the time, order our food when we go out, mow the lawn, and take us hunting every fall. That all feels totally normal. But at the same time I feel like an Orc (going back to D&D) and just don't fit anywhere outside the bedroom or my home or in the woods.

I just want things to be as easy as they were when we were kids in our little fantasy world again and it was cool for me to be into "guy stuff."