My Forbidden Love - My Sister

I am now 20 yr old straight guy and my sister is 18 yr old.

Since I was a kid, I kinda fell in love with my little sister and since then I am craving for her and her body. She is a great peron with great personality and I love her like a sister. But, I also love her a bit more in a different way.

She knows I am attracted to her in that way, and she also loves me but just in a regular brother-sister way. Anyways, almost every time I jerk off I think of her. I always glance at her while she is with me so I can check her out. She sometimes notices this and either covers up or leaves the room. I feel so terrible by doing this,but sometimes I can help about how hot she is.

Now, when we were kids, I mean I liked her then too, but we are getting older, so her body is developing too. She has a nice fit figure with nice,pretty big sporty ass and such nice pair of boobs. And she is a brunette with the most beautiful green-hazel eyes. (I get a boner just from thinking of her) This seems to be harder every year for me because her ass and boobs are still growing. Especially over the summer when I see her in bikini quite often.

Anyways, so it it pretty hard for me because I have this fantasies with her and things I want to do with her, but in the same time I know its not gonna happen and it's just hard on my soul.
I want to strip her down and fuck her in all her holes and I want her to beg me to fuck her harder and also cum inside her. This is just a small part of my fantasies. There is much more.
I also still live with her and that makes it only harder.

What should I do? I feel like if I ask her to maybe, just maybe do some of these things with her,she is gonna freak out and not talk to me ever again and that our actual brother-sister relationship is gonna disappear. Thats the biggest fear in my life. On the other hand, she is the only girl I ever loved as much and even tho I was with girls hotter than her, she makes my dick hard with only hugging me. And I would give everything to be able to occasionally fuck with her while maintining our good brother-sister relationship.

Right now, I am keeping myself sane with jerking off everyday and fantasizing about her. I sometimes take pics of her and stalk her social media. I am sorry but I cant help it. She is my forbidden love of my life.