Lesbian Female / 45
I Never Thought I Would Become Addicted To Sexual Pain
I am a 45 year old quiet lesbian woman. In my college days I was very actively sexually with women, which was true of a lot of other women at my college. Some were lesbians, but many were not. Unfortunately I fell in love with one of these non lesbian women and have been in love ever since. We are very close, truly best friends and soul mates. She followed her biology and is married with children.
Sexually this has required me to find release through other means. All solo behavior is unrewarding. Masturbation just does not work. Neither have one night stands. On a dare from a dear, also lesbian, friend in my age group, I tried a woman for hire. One with skills inflicting a little bit of pain. I am addicted now, and ashamed. For someone of my temperament to agree to having pain inflicted to my most private parts, to being subdued by force, to the failure to control my habit. Not to mention the expense.
So there is my confession.
Sexually this has required me to find release through other means. All solo behavior is unrewarding. Masturbation just does not work. Neither have one night stands. On a dare from a dear, also lesbian, friend in my age group, I tried a woman for hire. One with skills inflicting a little bit of pain. I am addicted now, and ashamed. For someone of my temperament to agree to having pain inflicted to my most private parts, to being subdued by force, to the failure to control my habit. Not to mention the expense.
So there is my confession.
