A Story And A Comment

During my college years I became friends with a girl who came from the same area of my state, another town, but rural like me. We were both nursing students. By the time we graduated and became RNs we were experimenting, pushing things along. We avoided the obvious, putting our mouths on our sex parts. We looked, got close, opened our legs, but knew that step meant we were going one step too far.

We took jobs with the same hospital in the nearest big city in our corner of our state. We roomed together, and kept our rule alive, anything was ok, sleeping together, snuggling, kissing, breast kissing and fondling, manual manipulation, but we would not go there orally. Denial, that's what it was.

One of the doctors we got to know really well pushed us to admit to him that we were, uh, playing around. Our excuse being that we had not met the right guy. He called us out, called us lesbians to our face, told us that oral sex was neither the mark of a lesbian, and avoiding oral sex wasn't a negation of being lesbians. If the urge was there, give in to it and enjoy.

We enjoyed, went over the edge, went public. We were 23 year old.

At the age of 43, 20 years later how do we feel. Sex does not define lesbians, it's deeper in your soul. We know, see, many women pretending, but they aren't genuine. It is playing around. Also, having sex with a man doesn't mean you are not a lesbian. Both my partner and I decided to try it with a man. We had to know, now we know. That was experimenting.

One last thing, the rainbow flag is not inclusive, it's a fringe group. We, and the lesbian community we belong to, do not flag ourselves, in fact we never discuss being lesbians. We are, and that's it. No symbols, no wristbands, no FB walls. You, yes, you, you are surrounded by lesbians, of all ages, all socioeconomics, all races, all jobs, mother's, wives, grandmothers, singles, young and old. And you don't know it, because it does not matter.

Thanks doc, for shoving us over the edge.