Lesbian Female / 21
Questioning...
Okay so I am kind of embarrassed to share this story but I just need to put this somewhere and hopefully get it out of my mind.
Two weekends ago I took a trip to Vegas to see some of my friends. I used to live there but haven't been back in almost four years. Anyway, it was a lot of my old high school friends to include this guy I used to mess around with when I was 14 (we'll call him Brandon). I'm in college now and for the last two years I've been strictly with women and even came out to my family as gay.
Anyway, we all got super fucked up at this party and I ended up just telling one of my friends I was going to sleep in her spare bedroom because I didn't want to pay for an uber back to my hotel. The whole night Brandon and I were catching up and actually kind of flirting. As we got more drunk together he started telling me how pretty he thought I was and how he had always thought about those times in high school. I won't lie, he had grown up to be pretty handsome as well.
I'm not sure what time it was in the morning, but I ended up drunkenly falling asleep in my friends bedroom. At some point, Brandon came in and started kissing me and feeling me underneath my clothes. I was pretty wasted and in and out of sleep, so I wasn't really aware of what was happening until he started pulling down my shorts. He reeked of alcohol so I could tell he was super drunk too. Anyway, he started playing with me and eating me out, and at first I was kind of freaked out because I wasn't sure what was happening or if I even liked it. I also couldn't tell if I was consenting or not since I was drunk...but I didn't stop him.
Long story short we ended up having sex, really amazing drunk sex to be honest. When I woke up the next morning I felt confused not only because it did kind of feel like a violation, but mostly because I have never really been into dudes. But ever since I haven't been able to stop thinking about it and maybe trying it again...I also kind of liked the fact that he did it without asking me and just took advantage.
I'm just not sure what to think and need someone to talk to about this.
Two weekends ago I took a trip to Vegas to see some of my friends. I used to live there but haven't been back in almost four years. Anyway, it was a lot of my old high school friends to include this guy I used to mess around with when I was 14 (we'll call him Brandon). I'm in college now and for the last two years I've been strictly with women and even came out to my family as gay.
Anyway, we all got super fucked up at this party and I ended up just telling one of my friends I was going to sleep in her spare bedroom because I didn't want to pay for an uber back to my hotel. The whole night Brandon and I were catching up and actually kind of flirting. As we got more drunk together he started telling me how pretty he thought I was and how he had always thought about those times in high school. I won't lie, he had grown up to be pretty handsome as well.
I'm not sure what time it was in the morning, but I ended up drunkenly falling asleep in my friends bedroom. At some point, Brandon came in and started kissing me and feeling me underneath my clothes. I was pretty wasted and in and out of sleep, so I wasn't really aware of what was happening until he started pulling down my shorts. He reeked of alcohol so I could tell he was super drunk too. Anyway, he started playing with me and eating me out, and at first I was kind of freaked out because I wasn't sure what was happening or if I even liked it. I also couldn't tell if I was consenting or not since I was drunk...but I didn't stop him.
Long story short we ended up having sex, really amazing drunk sex to be honest. When I woke up the next morning I felt confused not only because it did kind of feel like a violation, but mostly because I have never really been into dudes. But ever since I haven't been able to stop thinking about it and maybe trying it again...I also kind of liked the fact that he did it without asking me and just took advantage.
I'm just not sure what to think and need someone to talk to about this.
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