Baby Fever Wins The Day

I have a nine year old daughter, a freshman mistake. Her father keeps us in a nice house and neighborhood and she attends a private school. I have thought about this for a long time, more so since the pandemic. I can't live on my own, I dropped out of college and he has supported me ever since. I have used my orientation as a shield and an excuse, but this feeling in me won't go away, I can't quench it. I am going to marry him this time, have another baby, and give in or give up I don't know which one it is.