Not Sure If I'm Really Trans Anymore

basically I'm doubtful about my gender identity.
I'm a trans man, I started taking testosterone 6 years ago and I've got to the point where I can pass as a normal guy to other people. I never liked the idea of undergoing top surgery so I mainly wear binders and loose shirts and sweaters.
basically this all started like last year, well into quarantine , when I started touching and experimenting with my body. I never really did it before since I felt really disphoric when looking at myself when naked, but for some reason I started touching and playing with my boobs and my vagina. I also began to do so while looking at myself in the mirror. although scary at first, I eventually grew fond on masturbating myself that way. however, even tho I felt like a guy while wearing all of my accessories and clothes, I didn't while masturbating like that.
I also started seeing this guy three months ago. he's bisexual and I was immediately drawn to him. we would eventually start sleeping together, which means I lost my virginity to him. and it felt fucking amazing, much better that what I could achieve on my own. he knew it was my first time with somebody and he really made sure I enjoyed it thoroughly. however, something just fell wrong while we were doing it. It didn't really feel like we were two guys fucking, but rather like just a straight couple having sex like any other. kinda like our bodies couldn't lie no matter how hard we tried to. I felt like he could see through me the entire time, like I was lying to him about something he already knew. and maybe I did.
we hooked up a few times after that until I recently told him I needed space to figure things out on my own.
now, after giving myself time to accept my body, to accept it, to love it, to pleasure it, to experiment with it and to let someone else see and touch it, I'm not really feel like a man anymore. I feel like I really needed to listen to my body and its needs instead of trying to force it to be something it shouldn't after trying so hard and putting so much effort into shaping it in a way that I thought would make me happy. idk what you guys think, I still have a lot to think about, but I guess that means I'll probably stoo trying to like like a man which means there's a lot of work to do, not only on myself but on my environment and the people around me as well. I guess that's all I gotta say for now