After Giving Up My Dream Job, Down On Earth I Discovered Who I Was

I was running up the stairs in the airport and my left leg seized up in what I thought was a muscle cramp. I hobbled to sit down. I called my best friend and asked him to come help me. Several hours later my leg was stiff, hot and red. I went to the closest emergency room where I was diagnosed with a blood clot. No more squash, no more flying, no more anything fun. I was grounded. With medication and time the clot dissolved. And I was put on blood thinner meds.

I changed my routines, stopped flying, and stayed home. I was scared of another clot.

During those months following my scare I became depressed. Work as a ground crew was a bore, my social life died. It was during this time that I met and succumbed to a sexual relationship with a guy I met, a hairdresser. He was the instigator and I didn't care. Sucking his cock or taking a fuck meant the same. He did what he wanted, we went where he wanted. I met and got to know a fellow 'queer'. We compared notes, he was curious of what I did. One day he lay on the bed in his room in the nude, it was too much of an invitation and I swallowed his cock whole. Relying on my experience with my lover I took the lead and became the boyfriend.

I knew then that I was a real queer. I ask myself if it had not been for that clot would I be a queer today.