Should Be Still In The Closet

As a child I always had jealousies with other girls. In high school I went into a deep depression because a girl I liked moved to Switzerland. In college I was in love with my freshman roommate. All of them were straight, going out with guys, getting dicked. When I went to work I decided to stay straight at work. 2003 wasn't open like it is today. I didn't date, but I kept my real likes secret from everybody.

A man liked me and arranged for me to go to Mexico with him, to learn about foreign operations. I was 25. He had other ideas. In the hotel he arranged for me to have the room next to his, it was a room with a door between the rooms. He told me to unlock my side. I sat on my bed for sometime and decided to unlock the door. It was time for me to find out what was so great about getting dicked.

He wasn't new to girls, he did everything. It wasn't bad, I had never actually been kissed or touched and it felt better than I thought. It was more of him ordering me around, but once I learned to let him it was all right. After six months I married him. I'm 42 now, still married, with kids, working in my profession. Still in the closet. I've had three affairs with other women. My current affair has lasted for seven years. She is also in the closet. But not married like me.