I hate my fucking neighbor. I hate that I turn into Rush Limbaugh when I deal with her. I find it interesting all the predjudices that come up around her. She is this older woman, I'm guessing in her 50's. She doesn't work, gets food stamps, (I know because she tried to fucking sell them to me!) and basically parties every day of the week. It PISSES me off because I am a single mother, work my ass off, and the bitch and her stupid worthless visitors wake me fucking up at least once a fucking week! They bang on her door in the middle of the night, my guess is they are trying to wake her passed out ass up. They yell her name while banging with one hand and holding a bottle of liquor in the other. One night some intoxicated worthless fuck knocked on my window instead of hers. At 2:30 in the fucking morning. I'm a single woman with a kid in the house and some ass is knocking on my bedroom fucking window! Real nice.
The worst part, she asks to use my phone. So, I am up early, work all day, get my son from after school club, grab the mail, carry all our stuff in and start dinner, and within 10 mins, she is knocking at my door wanting the phone. I resent the hell out of it. She has slept all day, parties all night, doesn't fucking WORK, and and then I come home after being out earning a living, and she wants to use my phone!
THE THOUGHTS I HAVE THAT I FEEL TOO BAD TO SCREAM AT HER BUT WISH I COULD, AND ALL HER STUPID VISITORS:
lISTEN BITCH, I HAVE A PHONE BECAUSE I GO TO FUCKING WORK. W-O-R-K. ITS WHERE YOU EARN YOUR OWN MONEY INSTEAD OF TAKE FROM EVERYONE ELSE. WHILE YOU AND YOUR WORTHLESS FUCKING FRIENDS SIT IN YOUR DARK, SMOKEY APT AND WATCH TV, ME AND MUCH OF THE REST OF THE WORLD IS SLAVING AWAY AT WORK. AND WHEN WE GET HOME, THE LAST THING WE WANT IS OUR FUCKING NEIGHBOR ASKING TO USE OUR SHIT. GO MAKE YOUR OWN FUCKING MONEY AND GET YOUR OWN FUCKING PHONE. WHAT DO YOU PEOPLE CONTRIBUTE???? WHAT?! WHY DO YOU EVEN FUCKING EXIST? ALL YOU DO IS SUCK, SUCK, SUCK, RESOURCES (THAT YOU DON'T EVEN HELP CREATE) MAKE WASTE, AND WAKE HARD WORKING PEOPLE LIKE ME UP AT LEAST ONCE A FUCKING WEEK. HOW IS YOUR PRESENCE ON THIS EARTH EVEN JUSTIFIED? WHAT HAVE YOU EVER DONE BESIDES USE SOCIETYS RESOURCES? NO YOU CAN'T USE MY FUCKING PHONE, NO I DON'T WANT TO BUY BACK FROM YOU THE FOODSTAMPS YOU GET BECAUSE PEOPLE LIKE ME GO TO FUCKING WORK, YOU FUCKING DISGUST ME, I THINK YOU ARE A WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT, A BURDEN TO US ALL, AS ARE YOUR FRIENDS. I HATE LIVING HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!
The thing is, I tell my child things like, "We all have value simply because we exist." Meanwhile, my experiences with my worthless neighbor turn me into a person I would normally find arrogant, lacking compassion, and punitive. Maybe when I stop hating and resenting her I'll be able to learn more about myself and be glad she helped me see those qualities and become more aware of their presence inside me. But right now I fucking hate her. This week, someone woke me up banging on her door, yelling her name,Sat morning at 4:00. (One of my favorite things in life is sleeping a full 8 hours, and sleeping in on weekends), Tuesday at 2:30 in the morning, the loser knocked on my window waking me up, and this morning at 6:00, she rang my doorbell until it woke me up and asked to use the phone. I have worked three 12 hour days this week, tonight I work until 9:30. I was going to sleep until 8:00 this morning. I was trying to catch up to prepare for another long day. But I couldn't go back to sleep. So I am angry beyond belief, and want to just eliminate any person who hasn't worked in 3 consecutive years and is receiving public assistance who doesn't have a physical handicap. Just eliminate. Quietly, painlessly, just make them gone. All the worthless people, where do they all come from? All the worthless people, why should they all belong? I could just (not really) go from one worthless house to another, giving them injections, clean up from their mess, and move on without the problems they create. And I find those thoughts disgusting too, but there they are. God, I am tired and so resentful she woke me up. Now I will go to work today, a very long day, and she will sleep! All day! And when I get home and crash, it will be a Friday night and they are always even louder on weekends. I feel so victimized. Like, poor me, I have worked so hard this week, and have been woken up 3! times, and all you want ( poor thing) is to get your sleep so you can cope with all the demands in your life, but you can't even get that.. geez, lots of self pity there. I hate her, I hate her, I hate her.
The worst part, she asks to use my phone. So, I am up early, work all day, get my son from after school club, grab the mail, carry all our stuff in and start dinner, and within 10 mins, she is knocking at my door wanting the phone. I resent the hell out of it. She has slept all day, parties all night, doesn't fucking WORK, and and then I come home after being out earning a living, and she wants to use my phone!
THE THOUGHTS I HAVE THAT I FEEL TOO BAD TO SCREAM AT HER BUT WISH I COULD, AND ALL HER STUPID VISITORS:
lISTEN BITCH, I HAVE A PHONE BECAUSE I GO TO FUCKING WORK. W-O-R-K. ITS WHERE YOU EARN YOUR OWN MONEY INSTEAD OF TAKE FROM EVERYONE ELSE. WHILE YOU AND YOUR WORTHLESS FUCKING FRIENDS SIT IN YOUR DARK, SMOKEY APT AND WATCH TV, ME AND MUCH OF THE REST OF THE WORLD IS SLAVING AWAY AT WORK. AND WHEN WE GET HOME, THE LAST THING WE WANT IS OUR FUCKING NEIGHBOR ASKING TO USE OUR SHIT. GO MAKE YOUR OWN FUCKING MONEY AND GET YOUR OWN FUCKING PHONE. WHAT DO YOU PEOPLE CONTRIBUTE???? WHAT?! WHY DO YOU EVEN FUCKING EXIST? ALL YOU DO IS SUCK, SUCK, SUCK, RESOURCES (THAT YOU DON'T EVEN HELP CREATE) MAKE WASTE, AND WAKE HARD WORKING PEOPLE LIKE ME UP AT LEAST ONCE A FUCKING WEEK. HOW IS YOUR PRESENCE ON THIS EARTH EVEN JUSTIFIED? WHAT HAVE YOU EVER DONE BESIDES USE SOCIETYS RESOURCES? NO YOU CAN'T USE MY FUCKING PHONE, NO I DON'T WANT TO BUY BACK FROM YOU THE FOODSTAMPS YOU GET BECAUSE PEOPLE LIKE ME GO TO FUCKING WORK, YOU FUCKING DISGUST ME, I THINK YOU ARE A WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT, A BURDEN TO US ALL, AS ARE YOUR FRIENDS. I HATE LIVING HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!
The thing is, I tell my child things like, "We all have value simply because we exist." Meanwhile, my experiences with my worthless neighbor turn me into a person I would normally find arrogant, lacking compassion, and punitive. Maybe when I stop hating and resenting her I'll be able to learn more about myself and be glad she helped me see those qualities and become more aware of their presence inside me. But right now I fucking hate her. This week, someone woke me up banging on her door, yelling her name,Sat morning at 4:00. (One of my favorite things in life is sleeping a full 8 hours, and sleeping in on weekends), Tuesday at 2:30 in the morning, the loser knocked on my window waking me up, and this morning at 6:00, she rang my doorbell until it woke me up and asked to use the phone. I have worked three 12 hour days this week, tonight I work until 9:30. I was going to sleep until 8:00 this morning. I was trying to catch up to prepare for another long day. But I couldn't go back to sleep. So I am angry beyond belief, and want to just eliminate any person who hasn't worked in 3 consecutive years and is receiving public assistance who doesn't have a physical handicap. Just eliminate. Quietly, painlessly, just make them gone. All the worthless people, where do they all come from? All the worthless people, why should they all belong? I could just (not really) go from one worthless house to another, giving them injections, clean up from their mess, and move on without the problems they create. And I find those thoughts disgusting too, but there they are. God, I am tired and so resentful she woke me up. Now I will go to work today, a very long day, and she will sleep! All day! And when I get home and crash, it will be a Friday night and they are always even louder on weekends. I feel so victimized. Like, poor me, I have worked so hard this week, and have been woken up 3! times, and all you want ( poor thing) is to get your sleep so you can cope with all the demands in your life, but you can't even get that.. geez, lots of self pity there. I hate her, I hate her, I hate her.
