Will It Ever Happen?

Hi! I'm J, straight guy attracted to women only. I've been hypersexual since I was a child, my first sexual experience happened in the nursery touching each other with a girl when we had the afternoon nap. At this age I've been also caught undressing my sister and cousin and tried to kiss my gotmothers boobie when laying next her pretending that I'm asleep and a few times I remember smelling my mom's hairy pussy in the night and saw her sleeping naked. When I was 14 I discovered my parent's sex toys collection. Don't remember how did it happen for the first time, but started using this rubber dildo up until I've left for the Uni. I think this all happened because of a lack of sex as I've been with a girl when I was 18 only. Since then I had only women. Now I am 40. Up until recently, when my girlfrien suggested she would use her vibrator on me. Now this became a regular thing. The problem starts when I take stuff and being high. My mind just blows off, fantasising about sex with men. Not one or two, but straight away a dozen of them. Have to say only being bottom excites me, shagging a man means nothing to me. It is that good feeling of a dildo in me but in real. When occasionally alone I can do it all night I even bought a sex machine. I don't think I'm gay as the girls are the ones I turn around for. Enjoying it backdoor is another form of pleasure and once I like it then why not to have it. Here I would add, that I am not interested in receivin oral and being top. I only want to being shagged and to suck. When high I can not think of anything else just being a slut, having one from behind and sucking the other. Pure sex, all the dozen men coming wherever the want, in my ass in my mouth all over me. Well, that's my story, wish everybody all the best xxx