Sex Confession #5419 | Adult Confessions

- I Hate My Neighbor -

Oh dear God! I hate my neighbors! Today, BOTH of them came across the street to talk to me. (I only wanted to get my mail) Dad was wearing a swimsuit. Aieeee! My eyes! Imagine John Candy in a Speedo. The missus was wearing a hideous, polyester one piece after swim outfit. (Shave your pits, lady!)

The entire "conversation" was a one-sided monologue by the missus yapping endlessly about how wonderful her three kids are. Her kids suck. Oldest son is an ill-mannered asshole, just like dear ol' dad. Second son has boobs and a falsetto voice, he's also a jerk. Supposedly genius daughter will graduate high school at sixteen! With her looks and sucky personality, she'll have to buy her way to the prom.

Dad had the gall to brag about how nice the front of his house looks. IT LOOKS LIKE SHIT! I should know, I looked at it for 10 YEARS before YOU moved in and RUINED THE NEIGHBORHOOD, ASSHOLE. Waaaah! I want my old neighbors back.

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# 5419 - by Anonymous / January 4, 2008

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by Anonymous on Jan 15, 2008 at 8:19 AM

Oh dear God! I hate my neighbors! Today, BOTH of them came across the street to talk to me. (I only wanted to get my mail) Dad was wearing a swimsuit. Aieeee! My eyes! Imagine John Candy in a Speedo.

I see that fat haters are alive a well. Let me tell you that if you said that about black skin you would be a real bastard, but say you hate fat people and it is okay.

Frankly, bone thin make me want to puke.

The missus was wearing a hideous, polyester one piece after swim outfit. (Shave your pits, lady!)

What the hell is a missus?

So you now your bitching that one of them is wearing a one piece? I see... they should have asked you first on what to wear before they dare talk to you.

The entire "conversation" was a one-sided monologue by the missus yapping endlessly about how wonderful her three kids are. Her kids suck. Oldest son is an ill-mannered asshole, just like dear ol' dad. Second son has boobs and a falsetto voice, he's also a jerk. Supposedly genius daughter will graduate high school at sixteen! With her looks and sucky personality, she'll have to buy her way to the prom.

I have heard no proof of your intellect and your sweet nature.

Yah 16 is pretty young. Prey tell, how old were you when you graduated from school?

Dad had the gall to brag about how nice the front of his house looks. IT LOOKS LIKE SHIT! I should know, I looked at it for 10 YEARS before YOU moved in and RUINED THE NEIGHBORHOOD, ASSHOLE. Waaaah! I want my old neighbors back.

Well some sure seems to think themselves as the end-all-be-all.

I am sure you would be happier living in a pre-approved plastic world. Polyester, fat person free of course.

HURRY FOR THE TACKY!!!! LoNg MaY wE liVeeeeee!!

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by Anonymous on Jan 18, 2008 at 5:20 AM

Suck it, neighbor. Don't be jealous because I bought my house TEN YEARS BEFORE YOU BOUGHT YOURS. Since we're about the same age, this automatically makes you a moron and me a genius. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy to know that I have a couple hundred GRAND in equity, while you would be lucky to break even if you sold your house today.

Don't be jealous that I can park TWO cars in my spotless garage, while your garage is filled with your shitty, particle board furniture, dirty clothes, busted water heaters, and other assorted crap. You are forced to leave your cars in the driveway and the street, where they are broken into. The junk is safe and warm inside and $50,000 worth of automobile sits exposed to the elements. Again, I'm a genius, and you're a dumbass. Unless you enjoy filing insurance claims? And that dumpster you rented? Try getting your worthless kids to get off their lazy asses and fill it with trash! Jesus Christ! I noticed yesterday that your garage is as filled with crap as ever. The dumpster was picked up and must have cost a pretty penny to rent, did you even throw anything away?! And your cars are STILL in the street!!!

Finally, know that I had the foresight to move to this neighborhood way before you did. My family has history here, while you and your loudmouth kids and braggart wife are regarded as pushy newbies, trying too hard to befriend everyone. Most people here are polite...one of the reasons you chose this place, I know, so no one will tell you what jacked up white trash you and your family are. You don't fit in, you will NEVER fit in, and I really wish you'd do everyone a favor and fuck off and die. Failing that, please MOVE. I hate you and so does everyone else. Ever wonder why ALL the neighborhood kids refuse to hang out with your kids? It surely must have crossed your mind. Also, since you do real estate appraisal for a living, I'm sure you've looked to see what I originally paid for my house. Did it make you sick? Good.

Missus means Mrs. jackoff. As in a married woman? Does no one get married in your world? I'll bet not. How many illegitimate welfare brats does your mom have? Do you all have the same father? Christ, such ignorance. I despair for the future of our country.

by Anonymous on Jan 19, 2008 at 4:24 AM

And before I forget: Dear Fatass Neighbor,

Either recycle, shell out the money for another trash bin from the city, eat less (ho, ho, ho) or learn to put things in the trash so everything fits...

But QUIT throwing your extra bag of stinky garbage IN MY GARBAGE BIN!!!!!! I don't know what you guys do over there to generate so much garbage! I have kids, and I have HALF the trash you do!

There has been more than once when I've wanted to throw more stuff away and couldn't because YOU had filled up MY garbage can with YOUR garbage!

I can see once in awhile you might have more trash than normal, but this happens every week!! The worst part is your garage/side yard is still filled with garbage. I know you don't consider it garbage, but from my vantage point across the street, it's GARBAGE! Get rid of it!

P.S. I hate you! I wish you'd DIE! You and your entire family SUCK!!!

by Anonymous on Jan 20, 2008 at 10:50 AM

And the reason I look out my window, is because you and your unholy brood sound like a pack of rabid monkeys when you go outside to get in the car. How many doors does that vehicle have, anyway? Every one gets slammed at least twice.

Fuck you and your kids. You all stink like shit.

by Anonymous on Feb 1, 2008 at 10:52 AM

Woo hoo! The weirdos across the street AREN'T HOME TODAY!!!

We're moving our daughter up to school today and THANK GOD those slack-jawed morons aren't there to stare and ask nosy questions.

Yes, Dumpy Canadian Lady, we know that you only come over acting all friendly like BECAUSE YOU ARE NOSY AND WANT TO KNOW OUR BUSINESS!

The reason we can afford what we have, is because unlike YOUR STUPID ASSES, we only paid ONE THIRD of what you paid for our house so our house payments and property taxes aren't through the roof!

So go suck a dick! Try and make sure it's your husbands! He 's been looking really craby lately.

by Anonymous on Feb 2, 2008 at 3:20 PM

Discovered the reason for the neighbor from Hell's crabiness :his OTHER car was broken into last Saturday night.

WTF? That's TWICE now. IN SIX WEEKS!!!

I've lived here for TWELVE YEARS, and my cars have NEVER been broken into! Nor have I had my mail stolen.

Of course, I DO have the brain cells to put my cars in the garage (and close the doors) pick up the mail from my mailbox in a timely fashion, and TO NOT GO AROUND ACTING LIKE A TOTAL ASSHOLE TO EVERYONE I MEET WHICH IS WHY EVERYONE HATES ME AND MY FAMILY.

Neighbor, it looks like someone besides us hates your ass. Ahhhh, I love the smell of karma.

by Anonymous on Feb 14, 2008 at 12:40 PM

And what the fuck did you do to your tree? Oh yeah, you had your "friends" who own a tree trimming business come out and prune it.

Only they had their dumbass, speaka no Ingles, illegal alien slaves come out and hack the poor tree half to death.

Seriously, it looks like shit. It was trimmed at the WRONG TIME OF YEAR, and you'll be lucky if it doesn't die.

Actually, I hope it DOES die, and falls on your house. Better yet, I hope it falls on one of your kids. Especially the youngest one with the big mouth and the shitty attitude. You think she's a fucking princess, but what she is, is a fat, whiny spoiled brat with a squished up face and enough cellulite on her ass to float a battleship.

No way is anyone asking her to the prom, so put those dreams away. She won't find a dress that will fit her flat chest and fat ass and thighs, anyway.

by Anonymous on Feb 22, 2008 at 12:13 AM

Hey, annoying Canadian lady! When I went to catch the mailman today, I didn't want to talk to you, I just wanted to give him my mail and get the hell back to my house. Why don't I want to talk to you? Because I can't stand another minute of listening to you brag about your kids, that's why.

Thank Christ school starts on Monday and you and your nasty kids will be gone! ALL DAY LONG!!!!! I can breathe again. I can go outside without being stared at.

Also, you will be busy teaching school and won't have the time to micromanage your two younger children's social lives. No, I don't want to hear about how your genius daughter is the belle of the ball. (The belle of the dog pound, more like) And precious sonny boy (who has boobs, have you noticed?) has "met soooooo many nice people, and has sooooo many nice, new friends. The little fucker is a nasty piece of work, and so are his "nice friends". He's a pushy, loudmouth social climber just like you, and for every little shit who thinks he's great, there are 50 who hate his guts.

No, I don't want to hear about how wonderful you think the neighborhood is. You forget you stupid bitch, it's all subjective. From what YOU were used to, I'm sure it's paradise. I remember the neighborhood being really nice about 10 years ago. A few people died, a few got greedy and sold their houses, a few just moved. As a result, we have people like you and your asshole family living just across the street where we can't get away from you.

You have made our lives miserable for the last two years. We are seriously considering suing the previous owner of your house for selling it to you.

by Anonymous on Feb 24, 2008 at 7:00 AM

Here's an idea.

If you don't want me to look your way, DON'T HAVE A SCREAMING MATCH WITH YOUR SON IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET AT 7 AM!!!

It was the first day of school, the kid looked like he hadn't had enough sleep, his hair was slicked down with water because he had bed head, and I don't know what upset him, but he looked pretty pissed off.

By the way, does having three kids still seem like a good idea? The next 10 years ought to be a lulu.

by Anonymous on Feb 25, 2008 at 8:17 PM

WTF? You've had your cars broken and into and vandalized. TWICE. Your mail has been stolen. You've had to close various bank accounts and re-open them because thieves got ahold of your checkbook.

So, CLOSE YOUR FUCKING GARAGE DOORS!!! The goddam doors were open today from 7 am until 10 am. At 10 am, one was closed, the other was left open ALL DAY LONG with no one in sight. You can't blame it on the kids because the little bastards were at school most of the day. In fact, it was one of the little jerks who closed the door when he came home from school.

What are you thinking? Do you have even two IQ points to rub together? And your kids have the nerve to call my kid stupid?!!!

by Anonymous on Mar 16, 2008 at 11:30 AM

Heh. Found out Sunday fat neighbor across the street is no longer in the real estate appraisal business. He's now an "insurance adjuster". Cripes. This guy changes jobs like I change my underwear. Frequently!

by Anonymous on Apr 8, 2008 at 12:48 PM

Neighbors from hell have some creepy old man with a black child molester van living with them. Maybe a relative? At first I thought he was visiting, but it looks like he's living there. Guess they need someone to help make the house payment. Please God, let them have one of those crappy ARMS that will adjust in a year and they'll have to move!!

by Anonymous on Apr 18, 2008 at 3:25 PM

Neighbors from Hell have a new front door. Unless there was something wrong with the old door, they really should have left it alone. It looks cheap, with thin beveled glass inserts and in a yucky Harvest Gold color. It's also slightly crooked and Neighbor from Hell is STILL working on it three weeks later. Neighbor from Hell's oldest pervert, oops I mean son is a LOUDMOUTH ASSHOLE! Go inside if you and your weirdo friend wanna yell, you jerkoff punk!

by Anonymous on Apr 25, 2008 at 7:33 PM

Hey! Social climbing neighbor! Tell your queer middle son to leave my son and his friends ALONE! Last night, my boy and a friend were outside playing basketball when your shitty kid hollered a greeting to my son's friend. THE FRIEND DOESN'T KNOW YOUR KID!!!! You'd think being ignored would cure most people of TRYING TO HORN IN ON OTHER PEOPLE'S ACTIVITIES, but apparently, your kid needs some lessons in manners.

I am FUCKING SICK AND TIRED of your kids trying to take from MY kid instead of getting their own. And just because your kid has 300 "friends" on mygayspace doesn't make him poopularrrrr.

It makes him a social climbing asshole, just like YOU.

by Anonymous on Jun 12, 2008 at 1:07 PM

Hey neighbor! I know you think the sun shines out of your kid's asshole, but when he's driving your car and carelessly backs into next door's brick planter? And knocks a few bricks out? THE POLITE THING TO DO IS TO GET OUT OF YOUR CAR AND SEE IF THERE IS ANY DAMAGE!!!

There is no fucking way you couldn't have known you hit something. We heard a loud THUMP inside our house and came out just in time to see you driving off. Next door heard it too and came out at the same time.

I am so sick of you and your kids living here, words fail me. ALL I CAN SAY IS THAT I HOPE EITHER YOU MOVE SOON OR SOME AWFUL TRAGEDY BEFALLS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY. YOU SUCK.

by Anonymous on Aug 23, 2008 at 9:49 AM

Whoa. It looks like social climbing middle son is having some problems. His 300 myspace "friends" are down to FIFTY FOUR and his "bestest friend" is calling him a fag on HIS myspace page. So either 250 people de-friended Mr. Popularity, or Mr. Popularity de-friended 250 people.

Since that little asslicker would list a syphilitic whore as his "friend", most likely he's been dropped by alot of others. Guess what you little creep? Karma is a bitch and here's payback for every person you were unkind to! Bwah!

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