I am a 70 year old man, live in the poorer section of south philly and my neighbor, (let's call him Jack) is the most annoying thing that ever walked this earth. he is thick headed, stupid and has no morals. he is 25 years old and lives with his 22 year-old girlfriend (let's call her Mindy) and they have been together for 5 years now. Jack insists that almost every week, he and his buddies should run through my garden, trampling it and throw eggs all over my house. but that's not it. NO! they have to shit and piss on my car and two days ago, they broke in and started humping me in my sleep. i called the police, but they said it was just a stupid practical joke and for me to get an alarm.
i don't think jack and his buddies will come around anymore. last night, a drunk mindy wandered into my house, thinking it was her own. the layout in the houses are the same, so out of habit, she came into the bedroom (where i was sleeping) and passed out on the bed. even though i'm 70, i dont have trouble getting a hard-on. so i fucked her while she was still passed out. she woke up, and, thinking i was jack i guess, started fucking me back. later that night, i took her over onto her porch and set her down on the swing. when mindy starts mentioning the great sex they had last night, i think jack will start to wonder what really happened.