Perverted Lust For Hot Cousin

I would get babysat and overtime I started noticing how hot my cousin was, not just her pretty face, fr countless times coming over. I once got lucky seeing her change thru the crack of her bedroom door and saw her unclothed body putting on panties with her braw on. I was so scared of getting caught as I was between the bedroom and open hallways that led to me from many angles and trying to see her as much as possible not knowing if my sister mite come fr one way or another cousin fr another or my aunt from another angle. Luckily in that minute or two I was able to see enough and move to the kitchen that I was walking to anyway. So yes I couldnt stop thinking of her and what I saw and now know how she looks without clothes kinda. I then wanted more and one nite it was late and she slipped into small tight shorts and a cotton t shirt able to see her nipples poke. She thot nothing of me no clue of me wanting to hv sex tuch with her or lust to see her naked. The only problem was it was me my younger cousin my sister and me on the same huge bed but I was able to wake up next to her another night and I came prepared with a small light. Wed sleep with radio on low and I'd wake routine like 1 2 3 am without fail to pee. I woke and instead moving and waking anybody to go pee I noticed everyone was deep asleep and since I was next to her, I went under the covers with my light to shine on her tight ass smooth skin and hot legs. For a kid I was aroused so much by this which now as a man am like, that's it?! I really considered touching her and making a move on her so hard that moment and so glad I didnt becuase I'm certain now as a man she would hv prob not played to my fantasy of letting me fondle her and prob wake everyone up and I'd be ashamed for a lifetime. (Remember when so n so did so n so?) U dont think of that at that age of course a lifetime of shame. Ok I started to take risks tho and run into the bathroom after she took a shower to find her panties to see what she wore for that day and sniff them play with them and put them back acting like I had to pee real bad. If I made it in rite after I could be sure it was her panties not my other cousins or aunts. I never got caught but always felt like I was going to while doing it. Lastly I'm so glad I got away with this and the sad thing is she aged hard and is ugly today. Somehow shes morphed into a witch like face? The classic witch nose gets creepier wrinkles too. Why what happened idk???
You can tell she knows it she only posts young photos. If she does recent pics theres always something to deflect her real flaws too much flash sunglasses anything she can slickly think of to try not to look obvious she hiding what shes become, but she doesnt fool me any. I hv noticed this about attractive people over decades they turn extremely ugly. Shes ugly and very close to extreme as time goes forward. She liked me alot as a kid and today could care less about me.
Later ugly cuz