Bi-Sexual Male / 36
I Went Down The Gay Sex Rabbit Hole
I found this site during the lockdown. It wasn't only that I was lonely, it was also that I had gotten more and more turned on by gay porn. I read as many of the gay confessions I could find. I'm not gay, not really. But I have engaged in gay sex.
At first it was just seeing images of naked men, I took pictures of myself with my phone and kept those until I decided to post a couple on this gay dating sight and I got more than one hit. I created a persona. As the months went by my persona morphed into a man who needed to be serviced by an Alpha top. We emailed and I posted a couple of bottom pictures and he liked them and agreed to service me. We agreed to meet at a park close to my apartment and we went back to my apartment and he made sure I understood who was on top. Nothing in my adult life felt so good as being fucked.
It changed my life. I moved on from images to videos, always identifying with the man on the bottom. This man, this Alpha, fucked me many times. I used the videos to help me envision how I should act. I liked it a lot face to face, but I liked it more when he was on my back. I found that he liked having his cock sucked after fucking me, so I kept a moist hand towel by the bed so I could wipe his cock and suck him. This feeling of just pleasing him was addictive. Anything to please him. Any position, any hour of the day, I even sucked his cock in the park. He took videos of me sucking him, full face on videos. And videos of me on the bed waiting for his cock, videos of him on my back with me looking back at him smiling for him. He shared these videos with a favorite website.
He fucked me from June through March of this year. By March I was completely submissive to him. I wore red and pink panties. I stayed on all fours, I barked. I exposed myself in the park while he watched. We went into the men's room in another park and he had me ask everyman who came in if they wanted me to suck their cock. I masturbated him and sucked him off while he was driving. Until one day, dressed in red panties he left me standing in the park and someone reported me and I was arrested for indecent exposure. He watched me taken away in the cop car.
That's when I woke up. Being arrested and photographed and forced before a judge, the cops with pictures of me in red panties and a mug shot. That's when I woke up and realized how low I had come. It was my first offense and I was released on my own recognizance, and paid a fine. But if I ever have to look for another job this will come out in the background check. Not to mention those videos that he took and posted on websites he belongs to. It's embarrassing. I've been clean, not contact since I was arrested. But right now I really want to feel him on my back again. I miss it. I really need to get fucked. Fucked, I don't want a relationship.
At first it was just seeing images of naked men, I took pictures of myself with my phone and kept those until I decided to post a couple on this gay dating sight and I got more than one hit. I created a persona. As the months went by my persona morphed into a man who needed to be serviced by an Alpha top. We emailed and I posted a couple of bottom pictures and he liked them and agreed to service me. We agreed to meet at a park close to my apartment and we went back to my apartment and he made sure I understood who was on top. Nothing in my adult life felt so good as being fucked.
It changed my life. I moved on from images to videos, always identifying with the man on the bottom. This man, this Alpha, fucked me many times. I used the videos to help me envision how I should act. I liked it a lot face to face, but I liked it more when he was on my back. I found that he liked having his cock sucked after fucking me, so I kept a moist hand towel by the bed so I could wipe his cock and suck him. This feeling of just pleasing him was addictive. Anything to please him. Any position, any hour of the day, I even sucked his cock in the park. He took videos of me sucking him, full face on videos. And videos of me on the bed waiting for his cock, videos of him on my back with me looking back at him smiling for him. He shared these videos with a favorite website.
He fucked me from June through March of this year. By March I was completely submissive to him. I wore red and pink panties. I stayed on all fours, I barked. I exposed myself in the park while he watched. We went into the men's room in another park and he had me ask everyman who came in if they wanted me to suck their cock. I masturbated him and sucked him off while he was driving. Until one day, dressed in red panties he left me standing in the park and someone reported me and I was arrested for indecent exposure. He watched me taken away in the cop car.
That's when I woke up. Being arrested and photographed and forced before a judge, the cops with pictures of me in red panties and a mug shot. That's when I woke up and realized how low I had come. It was my first offense and I was released on my own recognizance, and paid a fine. But if I ever have to look for another job this will come out in the background check. Not to mention those videos that he took and posted on websites he belongs to. It's embarrassing. I've been clean, not contact since I was arrested. But right now I really want to feel him on my back again. I miss it. I really need to get fucked. Fucked, I don't want a relationship.
