Don't Piss Off The Cook!

I work in a stressful environment. I work in a restaurant which is very fast paced and of course we are all over worked. The boss never keeps enough people scheduled to work and then sells a lot of stuff half priced and then complains when we can't magically do twice the work in the same amount of time for the same wage. We remind him that it was his idea to give away food for half price not ours. And of course the customers all act like we spend all our time in the kitchen jerking off. One irate customer who screamed at the top of her lungs berating the entire kitchen staff (we only make a few cents over minimum wage) for not serving her food perfectly prepared and instantaneously. This was a regular and she always complained about ridiculous things. She comes in and spends five dollars for a meal demands it be perfect and served in seconds and berates us as though we were all paid $40 and hour and served her a $500 haught cuisine meal. So my fellow five star chefs and I looked at each other and we all at once reached into our pants and underwear and stuck our fingers up our butts and smeared it all on her hamburger bun, wrapped it up and served it with a smile.