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Women Only
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Gender Neutral / 26
Can't Decide If I'm A Lesbian Or I'm Straight
I spend a little bit of time asking myself if I'm straight or gay. Let me explain.
During high school I dated a couple of guys but nothing clicked. No sex.
In college I meet JoAnne. At a party we saw two girls kissing. She looked at me and said 'how about it? Do you want to kiss?' That was my first girl on girl kiss. I also spent the night with her in her bed. She performed oral sex on me but I couldn't bring myself to do it. Eventually I gave in to Jo Anne's advances and performed oral sex on her.
When we graduated we moved together to Nashville and then Austin. During that time, we lived together in a conjugal lifestyle. All was well, until a birthday celebration at a bar and a man from my job got me in the sack with him. I suppose that was my list V night. No matter what I said or tried to do I went back to him. Until I moved out of living with JoAnne and moved in with him ready to play house.
That's where I am now, playing house but seeing JoAnne every day. If JoAnne gets me on her bed it's over. Now that we can travel JoAnne and I are planning a trip to see her Mom in Tennessee. She gave me a ring, asked me to marry her. This trip to see her Mom is to open up to her and declare our relationship. As to this man, I live with him and play house. He is against me getting married with JoAnne. You can say I don't have his blessing.
I don't want to hurt JoAnne, we have been together since college. I can't walk away from this man. You got it, I'm in love with him and I consider him 'my man' and I am totally with being 'his girl'. Confused? Gay? Straight? Do I love two people? Is it because once this man forced himself on me? Or is it because his male hormones reduced me to submission? And that's why I can't leave him. Anyway, that's JoAnne's thinking.
I put gender neutral because I don't know if I'm gay or straight, but I am all woman, I have zero male identity.
During high school I dated a couple of guys but nothing clicked. No sex.
In college I meet JoAnne. At a party we saw two girls kissing. She looked at me and said 'how about it? Do you want to kiss?' That was my first girl on girl kiss. I also spent the night with her in her bed. She performed oral sex on me but I couldn't bring myself to do it. Eventually I gave in to Jo Anne's advances and performed oral sex on her.
When we graduated we moved together to Nashville and then Austin. During that time, we lived together in a conjugal lifestyle. All was well, until a birthday celebration at a bar and a man from my job got me in the sack with him. I suppose that was my list V night. No matter what I said or tried to do I went back to him. Until I moved out of living with JoAnne and moved in with him ready to play house.
That's where I am now, playing house but seeing JoAnne every day. If JoAnne gets me on her bed it's over. Now that we can travel JoAnne and I are planning a trip to see her Mom in Tennessee. She gave me a ring, asked me to marry her. This trip to see her Mom is to open up to her and declare our relationship. As to this man, I live with him and play house. He is against me getting married with JoAnne. You can say I don't have his blessing.
I don't want to hurt JoAnne, we have been together since college. I can't walk away from this man. You got it, I'm in love with him and I consider him 'my man' and I am totally with being 'his girl'. Confused? Gay? Straight? Do I love two people? Is it because once this man forced himself on me? Or is it because his male hormones reduced me to submission? And that's why I can't leave him. Anyway, that's JoAnne's thinking.
I put gender neutral because I don't know if I'm gay or straight, but I am all woman, I have zero male identity.
