Never Had It This Big Before

I am 47, almost 48 years old. I have been married twice, and starting having sex at 15. I've never been big counting but I did figure it out last weekend. I have let 39 men have sex with me, then I counted to my memory 12 one night stands with men, most when in college and three after divorcing, first time it was 2 guys, second divorce I only did it once and remembered why I didn't do that anymore. I did have a live-in, monogamous relationship with a 32 year old divorcee when I was 21, but I really relate as being straight.

The reason I was counting and realized that out of sex with 51 guys, 51 different cocks, some small, some "normal", some big, 2 tiny; I've never had anyone as big as Don. He and I met 3 months ago, with my traveling on business it took us about 2months to actually get to having sex. I've never had a cock like his size ever. It is 11 inches long (I measured), and is a full 10 inches around, that's about 2 and a half inches thick. I felt bad for him, I couldn't get it in my mouth to pleasure him at first, I was afraid to attempt to take it down below. I used my hand and put my mouth over his tapered head and he gushed so much cum into my mouth I coughed. Then after a few times of that, he was using his fingers to get me lubed and stretched, I used my mouth and hand, and he shot his big amount on me down there, he told me to keep using my hand and he recouped in probably only 20 minutes, and using his sperm he got it into me. Only about 3 inches at first then as he moved back and forth there was more and more getting in.

It honestly hurt, hurt worse than my first time, hurt worse than my first time anal, but I put up with it and never felt that kind of hot, warm liquid before, as I did when he shot inside me. My vagina won't take all his length, but he gets about 8 inches into me and he's satisfied with that. By the third night of his putting it all the way in me to the hilt and hard fucking me, I got used to it. I love it now, and I'm so stretched out when he's finished. He normally stays and does it to me 2 to 3 times, sometimes in my mouth, and he does me that way too, then 2more times inside me, or all three inside me. I can't believe I am so opened up, my vag seems to have gotten bigger, my inner lips seem to droop down more, when he's done and goes home I've used a mirror and looked at me and I'm gaping open at least 2 inches.

while I love it, and have really gotten to crave his big cock, what will the next man say, when he leaves me? I know he will, all men leave me, but I do fear that I'll not be able to satisfy another man after. Maybe I should try harder to hang on to him.