Married After An Unplanned Pregnancy, My Husband Isn't Open To A Gf

At 19 I got pregnant from my first hetero sex experience. The guy pushed me into getting married for the sake of the child. I stayed in school, but it was a traditional role marriage. One of my memories was my baby on my hip nursing while I'm fixing his dinner. And he was standing there watching me fix dinner with one hand, set the table, serve the table. At least he helped pick up the table.

After a year, nine of those months nursing, I told him he was my first and only guy. Because I got it on with a girl. And I was getting those feelings back. He figured that my hormones during pregnancy and nursing flattened out any gay desires, so why not get me pregnant again. This has happened twice, I now have three kids under five, the youngest is weaned and I'm back to getting the hots for a girl.

I will hold off as long as I can. But I can't promise him I won't fall off the wagon and give in to a seriously hot teacher I'm friends with. If I don't have intercourse then it's not cheating, right? He doesn't see it that way either. If only he looked the other way, at least until I get this girl out of my system. I can't keep having kids every time I get the urge for a girlfriend.