Straight Female / 42
Clearing The Air
I am in my 40’s and am learning so much from a man 8 years younger than me, that’s not my husband. My husband is the 5th man I’ve ever been with and I have now been with only 8 men my entire life.
This is the confession you demanded from me, that I promised you Rob. I ended what we were doing because I do love my husband. I haven’t always been the best wife, but I realize I can’t deny myself anymore. You made me feel alive again and I do care about you more than just our work relationship.
No you weren’t the first man I’ve cheated with. I’ve never really said that out loud, (or written it), before. I had a fling with my boss at a title company I worked for before we got married. I realize now that I’m turned on by men that take charge and tell me what they want. Something my husband had never been good at. Truthfully, he is more like a big child sometimes. I left that job at the title company shortly after and went on to be happily married or at least committed for the next 6 or so years.
Mostly what kept me interested for the majority of those 6 years was that after coming from a really conservative upbringing, my Hubbie got me in to exhibitionism. It was exciting. But our relationship eventually came to a lull anyway. He was spending more time drinking and very little paying attention to me. I tried to talk to him about it. He repeatedly said that he wanted to work on things but didn’t.
One night we were out drinking with our friends. We did shots for hours and I was so drunk I could hardly stand up. A lot of that night I blacked out. There was a lot of titty flashing and dancing and craziness that night. What I do remember is that Xander was feeling me up and constantly giving me pecks on the lips that night. My Hubbie had to have seen it. We had known Xander for years. He was at our wedding and continued to be a part of our circle until work took him overseas. He had his hands up my shirt half the night. I kept coming over to my Hubbie and and asking him to take me home. I was horny, wasted, and wanted to go home and do something about it. Shooting darts was more important to him.
Xander saw me kissing on Hubbie and asking to go home and Xander saw him turn me down. Xander said he could give me a ride, that it was on his way. It was so obvious what he wanted that another friend Lisa said she would accompany us when Hubbie said yes to Xander’s offer. I’m not really sure what happened to Lisa. I think she needed to use the restroom or something like that and Xander left her behind. My next memories are riding in the car with Xander and he was playing with my titties while he was driving. When we got to the house, he leaned over and and started full on kissing me. We made out for a little bit in the car before I said I should go in.
Xander said he was going to walk me to the door, (which he did with his hand squeezing my ass the whole time), and when got there, he said that we should have another drink now that we made it. I don’t remember saying yes or no, just that he came in. We were walking through the living room and he was saying something like, let me help you get ready for bed. He had my shirt and bra off playing with my nipples as he walked me toward our bedroom. He was behind me with his arms around me. I told him that he should go, even though he was unbuttoning my pants. I remember telling him that I was going to bed and that was it as he finished stripping me naked. He laid me on the bed and he climbed on top of me, also completely naked. I don’t remember him undressing. This next part and everything after, I remember clearly. I tried to protest but he shushed me and he kissed me. I let him. I tried again to say I can’t do this, but he cut me off and said he was going to give me some good cock while he inserted himself into me and began to fuck me. I didn't really try to stop him.
I wasn’t really enjoying it but thought that letting him cum would be the quickest way to end that night. So I kept telling him to cum. He told me that he wanted to look at my “chubby ass” while he fucked me. I let him roll me over on to my stomach and fuck me from behind. He told me to call him daddy as he pounded me. He kept talking about my husband and how lucky he was to have such a tight pussy to fuck. It was kind of weird. I told him not to cum inside of me, but he did anyway. He held me tight with his arms wrapped around me as we lay on the bed and he finished cumming. He got up and I was still laying there, on the verge of tears. He told me that I’m a dirty little bitch and he slapped my ass hard, twice. I started crying because it hurt, because everything seemed so shitty and I felt bad in general. He told me not to cry because he enjoyed himself and said thanks for letting me nut in you. I yelled at him to get the fuck out as he pulled his pants back on. He grabbed my underwear off of the floor and said “souvenir” before he walked out the door sniffing them. I felt used. I just lay there sobbing until I passed out. Hubbie didn’t get home until long after.
The next day, I couldn’t shower enough to wash the night before off of me. Then a few days later, I was late. I had a pregnancy scare for several days and that’s when I decided that I wanted my tubes tied. Although we never spoke of that night, having to see Xander and interact with him for years after was tough. I hated him after that night and never really forgave my Hubbie for putting me in that situation. Also, knowing that a lot of our friends knew that he took me home and fucked me, that he used me and I let him, was humiliating. I never talked to my Hubbie about that night, but I think he is living in denial. How can he not know?
I felt guilty and angry for a long time. During that time, our sex life died altogether and I relegated myself to the idea that this is my life now. Then you came along and revitalized me. I will always have a spot for you in my heart and god I don’t know if I’ll ever stop thinking about what you did to me. I have to try and make my marriage work though. I hope we can stay working together.
This is the confession you demanded from me, that I promised you Rob. I ended what we were doing because I do love my husband. I haven’t always been the best wife, but I realize I can’t deny myself anymore. You made me feel alive again and I do care about you more than just our work relationship.
No you weren’t the first man I’ve cheated with. I’ve never really said that out loud, (or written it), before. I had a fling with my boss at a title company I worked for before we got married. I realize now that I’m turned on by men that take charge and tell me what they want. Something my husband had never been good at. Truthfully, he is more like a big child sometimes. I left that job at the title company shortly after and went on to be happily married or at least committed for the next 6 or so years.
Mostly what kept me interested for the majority of those 6 years was that after coming from a really conservative upbringing, my Hubbie got me in to exhibitionism. It was exciting. But our relationship eventually came to a lull anyway. He was spending more time drinking and very little paying attention to me. I tried to talk to him about it. He repeatedly said that he wanted to work on things but didn’t.
One night we were out drinking with our friends. We did shots for hours and I was so drunk I could hardly stand up. A lot of that night I blacked out. There was a lot of titty flashing and dancing and craziness that night. What I do remember is that Xander was feeling me up and constantly giving me pecks on the lips that night. My Hubbie had to have seen it. We had known Xander for years. He was at our wedding and continued to be a part of our circle until work took him overseas. He had his hands up my shirt half the night. I kept coming over to my Hubbie and and asking him to take me home. I was horny, wasted, and wanted to go home and do something about it. Shooting darts was more important to him.
Xander saw me kissing on Hubbie and asking to go home and Xander saw him turn me down. Xander said he could give me a ride, that it was on his way. It was so obvious what he wanted that another friend Lisa said she would accompany us when Hubbie said yes to Xander’s offer. I’m not really sure what happened to Lisa. I think she needed to use the restroom or something like that and Xander left her behind. My next memories are riding in the car with Xander and he was playing with my titties while he was driving. When we got to the house, he leaned over and and started full on kissing me. We made out for a little bit in the car before I said I should go in.
Xander said he was going to walk me to the door, (which he did with his hand squeezing my ass the whole time), and when got there, he said that we should have another drink now that we made it. I don’t remember saying yes or no, just that he came in. We were walking through the living room and he was saying something like, let me help you get ready for bed. He had my shirt and bra off playing with my nipples as he walked me toward our bedroom. He was behind me with his arms around me. I told him that he should go, even though he was unbuttoning my pants. I remember telling him that I was going to bed and that was it as he finished stripping me naked. He laid me on the bed and he climbed on top of me, also completely naked. I don’t remember him undressing. This next part and everything after, I remember clearly. I tried to protest but he shushed me and he kissed me. I let him. I tried again to say I can’t do this, but he cut me off and said he was going to give me some good cock while he inserted himself into me and began to fuck me. I didn't really try to stop him.
I wasn’t really enjoying it but thought that letting him cum would be the quickest way to end that night. So I kept telling him to cum. He told me that he wanted to look at my “chubby ass” while he fucked me. I let him roll me over on to my stomach and fuck me from behind. He told me to call him daddy as he pounded me. He kept talking about my husband and how lucky he was to have such a tight pussy to fuck. It was kind of weird. I told him not to cum inside of me, but he did anyway. He held me tight with his arms wrapped around me as we lay on the bed and he finished cumming. He got up and I was still laying there, on the verge of tears. He told me that I’m a dirty little bitch and he slapped my ass hard, twice. I started crying because it hurt, because everything seemed so shitty and I felt bad in general. He told me not to cry because he enjoyed himself and said thanks for letting me nut in you. I yelled at him to get the fuck out as he pulled his pants back on. He grabbed my underwear off of the floor and said “souvenir” before he walked out the door sniffing them. I felt used. I just lay there sobbing until I passed out. Hubbie didn’t get home until long after.
The next day, I couldn’t shower enough to wash the night before off of me. Then a few days later, I was late. I had a pregnancy scare for several days and that’s when I decided that I wanted my tubes tied. Although we never spoke of that night, having to see Xander and interact with him for years after was tough. I hated him after that night and never really forgave my Hubbie for putting me in that situation. Also, knowing that a lot of our friends knew that he took me home and fucked me, that he used me and I let him, was humiliating. I never talked to my Hubbie about that night, but I think he is living in denial. How can he not know?
I felt guilty and angry for a long time. During that time, our sex life died altogether and I relegated myself to the idea that this is my life now. Then you came along and revitalized me. I will always have a spot for you in my heart and god I don’t know if I’ll ever stop thinking about what you did to me. I have to try and make my marriage work though. I hope we can stay working together.
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