My Heart Has Taken Over My Life

I'm in love with a man. An older man who is my father's age. Not butterflies in love, deeply deeply in love, bone deep in love. I have spent hours and hours questioning how I can be so in love. I went to a therapist, and her answer for me was simply "you're a woman, you're supposed to be in love". I'm at the point of admitting defeat.

Some weeks ago I went to the theatre on his arm. So many people turned to look. When I go to lunch with him the waiter or waitress smiles with that 'isn't it nice for Daddy taking you to lunch'. When I wake up in the morning and he is asleep I stand and just look at him and I feel an overwhelming desire to take care of him, to be hugged by him. I'm getting to the point of giving up birth control. Nature is calling me, and not quietly any more.

Let me say that I got married to him in December 2019 before going on a three week honeymoon to Asia. Asian's see younger wives as normal. American's see younger wives as some form of aberration. You know you are following your destiny, written to put me by his side, when you wake up, go for your run, eat lunch, empty the dishwasher, get ready for bed and every minute of every day you think of the man you love.

Gone are the days of bar hopping, hard rock concerts, backpacking. Now its dinner parties, the Opera and flying first class and staying at the Four Seasons. And I'm only 29.