Chickened Out

Yesterday I was on the casual gay hookup site called Sniffies and I was about to meet up with this guy at a local park to give him a blue job in his car but before we could finalize plans I froze and my anxiety got the best of me. I didn’t talk to him further. I haven’t done anything with a guy in over 15 years and so I don’t know if that’s it or if it’s because of guilt of being married but I fantasize about playing with guys all the time. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.