Not Sure Why It Happened.

I tried to post this before and it didn't go up. But this is a 30 or more year old secret I need to tell someone. I don't know why I did this. I know it was wrong but I was a horny kid, not that, that is an excuse. It's just I don't know to this day what made me do it. Maybe someone will have insights.

My sister is 3 years older than me. She has always been wild, into sex, drinking and partying. At about 14 I first noticed how hot she was (she was 17). She had huge tits and everyone knew she "got around" and was wild. I was geeky, insecure, but horny and no hope of get.ting a girl.

We'd be left alone a lot and she'd either come home drunk or drink at home and pass out.
Again, being 14 and horny is not excuse but when she would pass out or even just normally fall a sleep by me, I'd softly stroker her huge boobs. If she did not move or respond I gently unbutton her blouse or lift her top and look at them in her bra or if a got lucky she'd have no bra on. Then I'd put them back and go beat off.

As the years when on I got me comfortable and I'd move form her boobs to stroking her pussy too, at first over her jeans or panties, and yes eventually under if I could get to that level of access without waking her. I distinctly remember the fist time I made it to her mound, I'd never for get how horny i got realizing what I was touching and then tracing my finger up and down her lips. I again I know I have no excuse for this other than I knew lots of guys did a lot more to her when she was a wake. Again we'd be left alone alot and she pass out on the couch or her room, or leaning on me, drunk watching TV and I'd go feeling her up. It got to the point when a few time I was certain she was a wake and just let me. I don't know but I think at some point she caught on and was unsure what to do. Her legs would just happen to fall open sometimes giving me very easy access her full pussy. At least once I was sure was awake pretending not to be and listening to me whack off beside her after touching her.

It did not happen a lot but did go on for years from time to time. Somtimes she was certainly a sleep and I felt what I could get too. Other's her bra just mysteriously happend to be off and her legs just fell open giving me full access. But regardless, she never ever touched me back, nor even moan, but was wet. She was passive and just met me finish whacking off beside her. I did not dare take it further. Had she touched me back or moaned or acknowledge she was was a wake I would have take it all the way. But the best she gave me was access and let me finish pretending she was a sleep when sometimes I knew she was not.

When I was 17 and she was 20 ... it had really slowed down and I remember I tried again. She softly pushed my hand away a couple times... and whisper for me to stop or go to me own room. I was too old for that now. I was scare to death she'd tell and I never tried again. Neither of us even mentioned it.

It's been 30 years or more.Neither of us ever brought it up but we both know I use to finger her and beat off after doing it and she use to pretend to be a sleep no matter how wet she got, while i cummed next to her. We both grew up normal and have healthy lives and there are not issues between us. Still, neither of us have ever mentions this ... and likely never will. Sometimes I feel very guilty and wonder if she felt abused, or if i hurt her. It's not an excuse but I was horny kid and she never stopped me.

I really don't know why i did this or why she did not stop me. We are not prevs. And this was never about trying to "do my sister" it was just about being a horny teen spending a lot of time beside a often drunk big tited blonde hottie who was known to fuck a lot of guys. I never did anything like this after or before this.

Does stuff like this happen to teens growing up close in age? It really was not an i****t thing at all but a horny teen thing with no boundaries.