Born To Get Married

As a Pakistani American, born in Dearborn, to a MED DR and a Chemistry professor. My first trip to Karachi was when I was 10. In college I became very active in fighting for women in Pakistan, particularly against arranged marriages and child brides. I graduated from Michigan State. At the tender age of 22 my mother informed me I was getting married, to a Pakistani doctor. A man I had never met, 12 years older than me, who needed to come to America and my citizenship would accomplish that. The answer was for me to do what I was told, not embarrass the family, my father, accept my adulthood, get married, be a good wife, have children, and shut up.

I understand the pressure on women now. Don't think I got away, I didn't. I married a man I never saw, he performed his duty on my 'wedding' night. A marriage without children is not a marriage, I gave birth to a son, thank God, before I had been married 10 months. Muslims have sex, believe me. My one luck is we live in the US and not Pakistan. My husband is in practice with my father, he passed all his board exams.

He is not western and I have to dress in Pakistani dress, think of my grandmother. As a young couple I stay pregnant, and run the house. If you think arranged marriages, child marriages will end, think again. Not in Pakistan or any other Muslim country. A fresh young girl is an asset to the family. I survived until 22 because of one thing, I could bring a man here. Personally he thought I was too old when he married me, and probably today still won't accept that I was virgin to him.

I'm not even Muslim, just by birth but not raised as a Muslim. Oh, excuse me now I'm Muslim, now that I'm married.