What Am I Thinking

Ok ok ok I know alcohol shouldn't be an excuse and honestly and I wasn't even super drunk last night, but my youngest cousin he's five years younger than me wound up coming to hang with me at the bar after the guy who was supposed to show didn't. Well we closed the bar and were having fun so we came back to my house to keep drinking and my cousin had gotten stuff from the bar to party with. So we get back to my house grab some beers and do some shots and walked a couple lines. It was fun we jammed some tunes and just ranted about frustrations of the opposite sex. Well around 330 I went to my room and took a spicy pic to send to the guy who never showed. I got dressed in my pajamas and went back to drinking and having fun.... Well the asshole opened the message but never responded and it just sent me in a spiral complaining about if I'm unattractive and what not and without really thinking I walked over to my cousin and stood in front of him asking if he'd pass on a guaranteed freaky night with someone who looked like me and he shook his head no. And I just got more frustrated and with little thought I handed him my phone showing the pic asking if he'd leave that on read? Or what... I wasn't ready for his response even though I said I was because next thing I knew he was undoing his pants and I watched as he unfolded his pants reaching in and pulling out his cock, which was rock hard almost 9 inches and thick and smirked and started stroking it. I stood there just watching his cock till he leaned forward and grabbed the waist of my pants and pulled me closer and pushed on my hips downward. Idk why but I just slowly kneeled down and put my head over his lap and let him put his cock in my mouth. I literally sucked it for a minute before I jumped up saying I needed to walk a couple lines again so we went to the kitchen to do it and after I did mine I was leaning over the counter, I was so wet and horny so when he came up behind me burying a hand in my hair I whimpered when he pulled. Next thing I knew his hand was in my pants Playing with my pussy for a little bit before he tugged my pants down and smacked my ass before slamming his cock in me. I feel so weird because it was the best night of sex I've had in a long time he made me cum three times in 2 minutes. And he knows how to be in charge he didn't leave till almost 7 and had only been finished for 30 ish minutes. It was awesome being a slut and handled like that plus I got a response from the other guy finally after I sent him a video of me gagging on a big cock because I never have that issue with him lol. I was worried at point when he told me he was taking my ass to and idk but even for his size he went in me it stung ish but shook my legs fully in. I still feel like I'm leaving cum after my shower he shoots big loads and actually oddly enough taste good and the shit he can do with his tongue mind blowing! idk what is going to happen now...... Lol