My Youth

Let’s take a second away from my sluttiness since I have nothing to recap on from the last week.

1.) I was friends with a couple of black kids they both were brothers (yes I am black. I know right a submissive black bottom sissy, but taking it is so much better then giving D) well we were introduced because our parents were friends, you know how it is when you are kids your friends with your parents friends kid(s). So my mom went out with theirs and we hung out. This one particular time we were talking and they mentioned that they watch their parents porn tape (no it wasn’t amateur) it was nothing but black women taking bbc I’ve never done this before watched porn with friends before so we sat there is on the couch three preteen adolescent kids them on both sides of me and me plopped right in the middle. Maybe 10 min into it the oldest one whipped out his cock and started to jerk it and of course I’m like ummm bro and I looked over at the younger one and he was about to as well. So I’m like ok sure why not when in time right so I started doing it too, but here is where it’s not what you think. No I didn’t grab them no I didn’t have my first time no blowjobs nothing of that sort, but I found myself looking at them jerk off I watched them more then the porn I would shift my eyes at them and jerk deeper I was immersed with them listening to their moans their eyes opening and closing trying to watch some chick get Dicked down. Of course we came at different times, and when they weren’t looking I tasted my own cum on my hand. That was my last night ever seeing them I wish I could have saw them again.

2.) I had a pool at my school and I did have swimming ever other semester. At the time I was so far deep into the closet that it kills me now (I had some super sexy gay friends that had feelings for me and trust me if I was so much more open I would have dated them) despite how I was I actually loved swimming class just for one reason:

THE LOCKER ROOM.

Why did I love the locker room because that’s where the guys were, you see I grew up in a black and Asian (this is where my Asian cock love comes from) dominated school, yes we had others but those two dominated the school, anyway a lot of guys completely undressed to get ready for swimming and cocks were always out and I was always in heaven so many guys all different styles of dick and I wanted to touch them all but I couldn’t of course, at school. So whenever I had swimming I would sit somewhere where I could see every guys dick. Of course I would hide my secret boner.

3.) I fantasized about being the girl in porn (I still do) whenever I was home alone I would put on a porn when a girl is showing pure love and affection for the cock she is taking and I would get on all fours my butt high in the air and I would finger my butt as I watched it I would imitate the girl the things she said and her moans. Sometimes I would stick something into my butt and imagine that it was the guy. I would do this a lot when no one was home.

4.) I would jerk off into my face with my mouth open so I could give myself facials (I love the warm sensation this is where I get my love for them comes from). I only did this when I was able to sneak into the bathroom when no one was around and awake and I would pretend I was on the toilet just so I could wear my cum for a little bit.

5.) when I was a little bit older not yet an adult I had bought a pack of panties and would jerk off into them and when I came in the crotch area I would then wear them under my male clothes around the house and would love the way it felt and how the cum would stick to everything.

6.) I had a crush on this guy in high school he was a cool kid (and I still have that crush) but when I was at home i would masturbate and think of him I would moan his name and imagine sucking him off and him spreading my legs and taking me. This was a nightly thing outside of thinking of the girl I was dating (I would start off thinking of her then straight to him)

I wish I came out sooner.