Still Closeted But Having Fun

First of all I should admit that I have since I was old enough to understand I have been attracted to dicks. We're talking about sleepovers with friends or family, watching grandpa pee, changing at the beach, watching men pee after the movie. I discovered a magazine under the seat at the movies meant for older men when I was 11, it was in a foreign language and it was naked men. The pictures were all in black and white with evidence of someone ejaculating on the pictures. I kept the magazine for the longest time only tossing it out when I went to college. After I started to drive, I was in the school band, I gave my band director a ride home and he sucked my dick and I sucked his. The difference between him and me is that i didn't want to stop even after he had ejaculated. That's the first memory of needing it. Need with a capital N.

There was a sort of club in town and men who liked it with another man told other men about men who needed to be with men. The word got around and I ran into men who wanted to suck me or wanted to be sucked in the mall bathroom, at the movies, and sometimes when I was hired to mow a lawn. My high school days served to teach me and I grew up with a well defined like. For a farm town boy I joined the Coast Guard after college and spent four years off of San Diego, I don't need to point out that I met and had lots of men while I was in the Coast Guard. Of course all of it happened off base, and movie theaters with a hard cock in my hand and slurping up cum was common experience when we were on leave.

Throughout it all I kept my activities secret from my family and close friends.

Now that I am retired and an older man I find that my need has grown stronger. I looked up with a group of men who liked to vacation together (this was back in the days of CL) and this group of men continues to get together once a year at a destination where all day nudity and cock sucking and fucking are the thing to do. We rent a house with a pool in a privacy setting and it's every man for himself. I am just as comfortable either way, I can give and I can receive, as are the men I vacation with. The goal is three days of nothing but man sex and maybe a cup of coffee.

I find it interesting that gay men have to come out and tell everyone. Why? I have never really understood that. My hide away weekend friends and I are all closeted about our man sex need, but advertising it is not part of it.