Gay Male / 48
Still Feeling My Way
Foll8wing an unsatisfying stint as a middle school teacher I got a job in logistics with a home builder thanks to a friend. Instead of women I was now surrounded by men. Trades men of all sorts and ages. I kept my head down but at night I fantasized about being with a man. In my fantasy I always bottomed, I could imagine vividly a big construction man on my back. I used various home found toys and KY jelly for penetration. I contorted to see my asshole in the mirror.
With the coming of the internet and wide open browsing I became a steady consumer of gay porn. Identifying always with the bottom, fantasizing about those big cocks. I closed my eyes and lived the experience of a cock in my hand, making love to his cock before turning on my stomach with a cucumber with a condom in my KY lubricated ass. I masturbated daily. But it was all a fantasy, nothing real.
By then I was inky forties and I discovered CL when looking for gay dating. I answered many posts but chickened out and never showed. I also found a gay dating site for older gay leaning men, one profile met my fantasy head on. A 55 year old ex policeman looking for a no strings attached sex encounter. I sent out a note and after exchanging emails agreed to meet him at the bar of a well known grill. He said he would wear a pink polo and I said I'd wear a pink polo too.
He was everything I imagined, he was all policeman, in charge. I reverted to my school teacher days, adopting a woman's role. We ate, talked, agreed to his place, he was much more attractive to me than I ever imagined, a big, salt and pepper, corpulent man. He checked me out, giving my penis a tug and my first ever suck. He was much bigger, I held my first cock in my hand, savoring it with my mouth. My eyes closed instinctively, he let me suck, kiss, run my tongue all over his cock and balls, the musk between his legs was strong and I wanted to lick his ass.
In my fantasy I was supposed to have him get on my back but in his world he got between my legs, finding my hole he penetrated steadily and stocked in and out until he came and pulled out. I tried to get him to answer so we could meet again but it never happened it was a one time thing. It took another two years before I got up the nerve to meet a man again.
With the coming of the internet and wide open browsing I became a steady consumer of gay porn. Identifying always with the bottom, fantasizing about those big cocks. I closed my eyes and lived the experience of a cock in my hand, making love to his cock before turning on my stomach with a cucumber with a condom in my KY lubricated ass. I masturbated daily. But it was all a fantasy, nothing real.
By then I was inky forties and I discovered CL when looking for gay dating. I answered many posts but chickened out and never showed. I also found a gay dating site for older gay leaning men, one profile met my fantasy head on. A 55 year old ex policeman looking for a no strings attached sex encounter. I sent out a note and after exchanging emails agreed to meet him at the bar of a well known grill. He said he would wear a pink polo and I said I'd wear a pink polo too.
He was everything I imagined, he was all policeman, in charge. I reverted to my school teacher days, adopting a woman's role. We ate, talked, agreed to his place, he was much more attractive to me than I ever imagined, a big, salt and pepper, corpulent man. He checked me out, giving my penis a tug and my first ever suck. He was much bigger, I held my first cock in my hand, savoring it with my mouth. My eyes closed instinctively, he let me suck, kiss, run my tongue all over his cock and balls, the musk between his legs was strong and I wanted to lick his ass.
In my fantasy I was supposed to have him get on my back but in his world he got between my legs, finding my hole he penetrated steadily and stocked in and out until he came and pulled out. I tried to get him to answer so we could meet again but it never happened it was a one time thing. It took another two years before I got up the nerve to meet a man again.
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