Straight Female / 50
I Had A "Regretful Morning" I Don't Want A Repeat
I woke up beside this guy, in an apartment I didn't know. It was evident that we had sex. I was 17 and an incoming freshman at college. I would learn that there had been a fight over me and he had won and took me with him. What I consumed I don't know but it was alcohol and something and I'm told I was pretty wild.
I had him drive me back to my dorm and I felt everyone looking at me walking in. Across the commons, into my dorm, in the elevator. Everyone who saw knew I had been fucked the night before. My roommate told me it was written all over my face, "How was it?"
I don't remember. She and I had gone to a frat party and that's the most I remember, going there. The guy who got me in the fight was a local, not a student, and it wasn't at the frat party. Fair and square is what he told me, I had set the rules.
My life changed for good. I got pregnant, I wasn't on any kind of birth control. I had to drop out of school once I had a baby to take care of. I had to go to court to get the father to pay child support. We waited 20 years for a DNA test to prove it to my daughter once and for all. I have never had sex since then, not with anyone. I did go to college in my twenties on a program from my job.
I have been a good mother, my daughter is now a grown woman starting a family of her own.
I met a man, I am 50 and he is older and we get along. He says things that piss me off, puts a lot of the blame on women about what happened to me. He is aggressively confident and when he hugs me he holds me too tight. He's kissed me and wants more before he gets to old. He wants it all, every last bit of it. I can't have children now but I can't just go with him which is what he wants. He's given me an ultimatum, get over my hang ups and give him what he deserves or he is moving on. He took me to lunch at his country club and described in detail what he wants from me, what he is going to do with me, and when he is done he promises that I will remember in detail having sex.
I read lots of confessions here, I have for a long time. I admit that when he holds me I get weak and when he talks to me like that I get weak and what he tells me he is going to do with me I get weak. I just don't want to wake up and be dropped off and never spoken to again.
I had him drive me back to my dorm and I felt everyone looking at me walking in. Across the commons, into my dorm, in the elevator. Everyone who saw knew I had been fucked the night before. My roommate told me it was written all over my face, "How was it?"
I don't remember. She and I had gone to a frat party and that's the most I remember, going there. The guy who got me in the fight was a local, not a student, and it wasn't at the frat party. Fair and square is what he told me, I had set the rules.
My life changed for good. I got pregnant, I wasn't on any kind of birth control. I had to drop out of school once I had a baby to take care of. I had to go to court to get the father to pay child support. We waited 20 years for a DNA test to prove it to my daughter once and for all. I have never had sex since then, not with anyone. I did go to college in my twenties on a program from my job.
I have been a good mother, my daughter is now a grown woman starting a family of her own.
I met a man, I am 50 and he is older and we get along. He says things that piss me off, puts a lot of the blame on women about what happened to me. He is aggressively confident and when he hugs me he holds me too tight. He's kissed me and wants more before he gets to old. He wants it all, every last bit of it. I can't have children now but I can't just go with him which is what he wants. He's given me an ultimatum, get over my hang ups and give him what he deserves or he is moving on. He took me to lunch at his country club and described in detail what he wants from me, what he is going to do with me, and when he is done he promises that I will remember in detail having sex.
I read lots of confessions here, I have for a long time. I admit that when he holds me I get weak and when he talks to me like that I get weak and what he tells me he is going to do with me I get weak. I just don't want to wake up and be dropped off and never spoken to again.
