Never Imagined Myself Here
- That's Juicy! 20
- Remove It! 1
I get it. She has your number. When I lost my virginity with my first boyfriend told me he owned my pussy forever. No matter who I was with or got married to, he now had rights to my body. He tried to get me to swear to always be available to him no matter who I was with or married to. As much as I enjoyed having sex with him, I thought he was ridiculous and full of himself. Even though we were together and newly sexually active with each other, I was already thinking about all of the other boys I wanted to experience sex with. If I was going to grant lifelong rights to my body, there were several other boys I'd rather swear that to. Not then but over time we really got to know each other and what we liked. He got more and more controlling, demanding and rough. As much as I loved parts of it, it wasn't healthy, and I was craving messing with other guys, so I broke up.
My next boyfriend was very shy and gentle. I'm normally really submissive but with him I always had to take the lead. So, when my ex showed up and started taking liberties with me... I didn't stop him. It was great and was almost better than the best times in our past. I was tempted to take him back, but he didn't want to as we were both in relationships. He just wanted to prove he could still have me. I was both pissed and pleased. At the time I welcomed having him on the side. I felt guilty cheating on my bf and eventually left him.
The thing was, no matter who I got with, my ex would show up and reclaim me when I was alone. Sometimes I'd resist as much as I could but other times, I practically jumped him when he showed. He was like a FWB but he mostly forced himself on me and I couldn't say anything about it because he knew and could prove I loved being forced on more than anything.
When I got engaged, I went out of my way to get with my ex and make sure he knew that once I was married, we were DONE. He respected my wishes for less than a month from my return from my honeymoon before he showed up at my door as soon as my husband left for work. I had planned to resist him but when he showed up, I forgot I was married until he was finishing... Oops.
I've been married almost 30 years now. The only way I can resist him is to live far from him. When I visit my parents, I'm often tempted to look him up. ... sometimes I do.