I Sleep With Him Because I Love Him

I have been in an inappropriate relationship for the last three years. With a married man. Friends with benefits. Sex.

It started in the office, a touch, a pat on the back, a pat on the bottom. After the pat on the bottom a kiss on the lips. And then, he touched me between my legs. That's when I grabbed his dick in his pants, and he grabbed my breast, and that night after work I joined him in a cheap motel by the freeway.

And now three years later, through the pandemic, in motels for a while, then my apartment after my roommate moved out. Friends with benefits. Right? Wrong. I'm in love with him and I dream of finding a way of being his wife. I don't resent his wife, I just want to say that, it's just unfair. I would be a great wife, if I had the chance. Instead it's friends with benefits.