I Want Another Baby

I spent my school days in a Catholic school for girls and college in Catholic University. For several of my high school years I wanted to become a nun. On my high school graduation day my grandmother told me I was born to conceive and my first duty was to have children. She was against me becoming a nun. So I went on to college.

After college I went to work for a small private company and volunteered at my church with the radio outreach program. The owner of the company, a man in his late forties, treated me personally and I found myself in love with him. That he was married didn't bother me. All I wanted was to be with him. I was inexperienced and a virgin but I was convinced he wanted me. Until one night when we had an after work celebration for a coworkers birthday. I et him have sex with me and I decided I wanted to conceive.

I thought my grandmother would be happy, I never thought about his wife, I never asked him. My life took a very negative turn. No one was pleased that I was pregnant. He eventually accepted my pregnancy, his wife decided that they would recognize and adopt, my grandmother told me it was best for the baby. I gave up my baby the day she was born.

Today I see my daughter most every day, his wife felt sorry for me and let me stay involved. I wish I could say I've grown up, but I'm still in love with him and this time I asked his wife if I can have another baby, this time I want to raise it myself. She's promised to discuss it with him and I'm waiting. My grandmother calls me crazy, maybe she should let me be a nun.