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Bi-Sexual Female / 34

I Am An Addict

I am a supposed recovered addict still finishing out a stint in halfway house rehab.
I am not really clean ... I am not using like I once was. I mean, I have control now but I am secretly using.
How am I pulling that off in a halfway house? I am blowing a night staff guy when I need to slip out for a fix.
He comes to my room when it's late and the only other staff is doing rounds and he'll ask, "Helen, rounds are started is tonight a night your hurting for a little fix?" If I say yes, he comes in, closes the door and I service him. On the way out he tells me "you got 20 minutes before I have relock the stair well door". That's my cue to make fast or get locked out and caught.
If I say, no not tonight. He says, "OK. Not a problem. Lights out" and I am treated no different than normal.
When I do it he me makes me blow him nude so he can play with my tits ... some times if he of really horny he fingers me with gloves on in a 69 position and tells me if I was not "a dirty fucking addict he'd eat and fuck my slutty c**t."
He always finishes in my mouth and demands the swallow and checks I really did.
I only got 3 more months left then I am free. It's gonna happen a bit yet.
What real bothers me is that I was sober the first time he offered me a propped door of sucking his dick. He let me break sobriety to get in in a cycle of sucking him off. I mean, I have done way worse for dr*gs, this is a cakewalk compared to what I let other guy use me to do...but he is supposed to keep me safe.
What bothers me even more is when I say "no not tonight" (which is most nights) he never pushes me and it makes me wonder how many other women are in this cycle that me saying not tonight doesn't bother him a bit. Who blows him when I don't?

4
# 57239 - by Helen / March 11, 2022
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Comments

Anonymous

by Anonymous on Mar 11, 2022 at 2:14 PM

Helen,

How many other women are there in the group home? How many have C cup or larger tits and most, if not all, of their teeth? How many look too relaxed for an addict that hasn't used in a month?

A nice smile, a calm demeanor, and fair to large rack and they're in the prospect pool. Did any that were there when you arrived, and fitting that description, hint to you when you were a newbie that there was someone to see on staff if you were in a bad way late at night?

Have you ever "spied" on the door he leaves cracked for you on nights you didn't use? Or is your bedroom door locked after you're told "lights out''?

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Mar 11, 2022 at 2:32 PM

Everyone here claims to be clean like me. This is transition track no one is strung out. But are the blowing to get fixes like me and just look sober because they getting the functional level fix?
I am still ok looking but he still uses gloves to touch me. And treats me during our exchange like I am a worthless blow rag. I don't think he cares about looks, teeth, or boobs, if they throat and eat loads. And honestly what addict doesn't? I wonder if the other guy doing his rounds is doing the same on the other side.

H.

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Mar 12, 2022 at 11:30 AM

Hi H,

You have me curious about the arrangements. Is the place you're in some kind of halfway house for those leaving county lockup [no judgment, just reality to deal with] or a step down facility for those leaving a full lockdown rehab facility?

In either scenario, I imagine there's very controlled in and out policies and there are probably pocket and purse emptying inspections when coming in to minimize the amount of chemicals on site. And likely full strip searches at random intervals to embarrass and control those who think they can slide something through in their prison wallet.

Beyond that, can you give some general ideal of how many total people are in the facility and how many of each sex? How many on site managers are there? Are any of them residents themselves to keep a full time staffer on for all shifts? Are all of the managers male? If not, how many of the night shift ones are? Out of how many total?

Your speculation about any number of residents being on 'maintenance dosage' rings true to me. About how many would you say are 'working the system' to keep from getting withdrawal symptoms? Is there a universal lights out time and is that why you get those short intervals to get your fix?

From how you've described it, I'm guessing there are two wings to the facility - one male and the other female and no late evening visits from one side to the other. When there are things like vacation or sick days, does the manager from the other wing handle both sides for a few days or do they rotate in someone from day shift? In either case, does the replacement night watch come around with the same offer of short freedom runs for head?

When your arrangement started, who was the first to state the terms of the deal? After some diplomatic beating around the bush, did you offer to blow him for time outside or did he offer you 20 minutes to see your dealer for a naked blow job and swallow?

Do you ever discuss the arrangement with the other residents?

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Mar 13, 2022 at 11:46 AM

Anonymous #3

It's a private not state facility but there are people who have been mandated by court to be in treatment. I am one but not everyone is. Many are self or family checked in.
There are mixed genders staff except at night at least on the units i have been on and since I have been here. It is a step down system we don't mix or see everyone in the larger facility. Different units are arranged by risks and rules and lights out vary by stages. If other girls are doing favors no one is talking.
The first time it happened because i wanted extra phone time because of some family shit happening outside. I was still in a pretty strict unit and everything was hyper controlled. I was crying at lights out and he asked why, I explained and he said he could double my phone time for tomorrow but he wanted something too. I am an addict and i understand the only thing men want from me. I am not new to going down on a guy to get what i need. It's how I survive on the outside. It's why I am here.
When he was done he was like, "You earned your phone time and more. The stair well door is a jar for the next 20 minutes if you want a fix there as dealers two blocks over. If you do hurry I lock it in 20."
I believe he wanted me to break sobriety so he'd hook me knowing that my phone time need would pass but not my fix need.

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