And I Grew Up And Now I'm An Adult

In my freshman year I met a girl, we got along, we became friends, and lovers. It was her first overt sexual experience. She invited me to a wedding of a cousin in her hometown. In a moment I kissed her when I thought we were alone but her grandmother walked by and saw it. She didn't return for the spring semester, she got married to a second cousin and had a baby. My heart was broken, my anger was vivid, I didn't date or look for someone and graduated returning to my hometown after graduation.

My family was not privileged to know about who my lost love was, unaware it was a girl. I was pushed towards this guy and that guy. I got a job in an art gallery. The owner was a woman of forty, and a love affair started. She was a known lesbian and me seeing her forced my hand to confess to my parents.

After a year together she told me her insides didn't work properly, she could never get pregnant, she was barren. She asked me if I had thought about a baby. Loaned out to her brother I became pregnant. I was the mother of his child, and he wanted children. I sat one morning with a cup of tea waiting for the babies to wake up and start the day. Here I was 28, with two children, and a man who called the shots, a husband.

That day I wondered how my lost love was doing, with a husband and children. Was she happy? If I could tell her I would share how my life was complicated, but worth every minute. I'm glad I have children, even if they come with a husband.