Men Are Sooo, Full Of It

An 8th grade mixed sex party, spin the bottle, got felt up.

10th grade, away football game, boy grabbed my ass in the concession stand line.

Freshman college mixer for new club guy masturbates in front of me. Freshman college mixer for new club guy beats the shit out of masturbator. Freshman college mixer for new club, intervention guy carries me away over his shoulder. Placed on my back on a bed. Points finger in my face. "You owe me", claims rights to my virginity.

Freshman, following weekend, intervention guy decides it's time for pay back. On my bed, on my back, legs held open, "you're off the hook for now".

Freshman, next day, back on my bed, on my back. Intervention guy tells me to take off my pants, I open my legs, makes his claim good, he takes my virginity.

Rest of my life, intervention guy has girlfriend wash and cook, puts ring on finger, puts wife in house, babies are born, takes job in Bern, Switzerland, brings wife home, kids grow up, daughter goes to college, father tells daughter "if boy touches you, Daddy kills boy". "Understood?"

Daughter is scared to lose virginity. Mother tells daughter, "you're 23, get laid, have fun, leave Daddy to me".