In My Youth I Succumbed To This Feeling, It Is Alive Again

I grew up in a small fishing community where my father was the harbor master. We had all the basics, but no one was rich. Out on the point was an old lighthouse which was the tourist attraction during the summer and fall. Our town had one restaurant and one stop sign, that's how small it was.

I was 17 and the town put together it's normal crew to go out to the lighthouse and clean up for the tourist season. Mostly it was landscaping, painting and opening it up. During the tourist season Joe, a retired veteran, went out their to live and show the tourists around. That day I went out it was just Joe and me.

I felt this need, a strong wave of feelings, come across me. I wanted to kiss Joe or I wanted him to kiss me. I kept looking at him. I couldn't get the thought out of my head. Joe stopped me at one point and asked if I was alright. We were in lighthouse cleaning the windows when Joe put his arms around me from behind. I surrendered immediately turned in his arms and let him kiss me. Up there in the lighthouse, Joe sucked me and I sucked him. He asked me several times if I liked sucking him and I said yes each time. He had me stand and hold onto the rail and he ran his cock up and down my ass but he didn't penetrate me. He came.

We had work to do and we got our assignments done and I didn't have a chance to be with Joe again and he was careful not to show anything in front of anyone. I left after high school and went into the Coast Guard for six years and then to college returning to my hometown while my parents were alive. I worked for General Dynamics as an EE, married and had three children. We made a road trip last fall, my wife wanted to see where we I grew up, we went to my hometown and at the cemetery we went to my folks' grave and I found Joe's headstone and these memories welled up.

We went to the lighthouse which is now a registered place and has a full time young couple from Oregon that live there and take care of the place. I stood up there in the lighthouse and relived that moment with Joe until my heart settled down. In the Coast Guard I met more than one sailor who enjoyed other men. In life I've met men who enjoy other men. I've been at hotels where I have thought about other men. But I have never taken a step towards other men. I've contented myself with my memory. It's more alive now since we went back to my hometown. I feel it, it's demanding, when I see a weathered man somewhere it's more than I can stand. I don't know if it's controllable or if it will go away.