Getting Married For The Money

A guy I know is looking for a wife. He's 36 and I'm 33. Neither one of us has been married. I'm a graphic artist, which is a low paying skill set. He's a manager and gets paid much more than I do. We are both white, middle class, suburban raised. We have a similar upbringing. He's straight, I'm not.

I agreed to marry him, I want to get out of this poor cycle. I'm sure I can fill the role, it can't be hard. I cook and clean anyway. I'm pretty sure I can handle a couple of pregnancies, I'm healthy and have not had children. Being what I am I've not used chemical contraception, so far I've used avoidance. I can make a baby.

I'm not in the closet and I'm not out. My family knows. He knows, but his family doesn't. I don't plan coming out to his family, I'll just announce I'm pregnant instead.

I have deep reservations, mostly about being able to stay the course. I'm not worried about tomorrow, or even a year from now. Ten years, twenty? Will I still feel I can avoid my past, and stay loyal to him? If I don't try, I'll be a lot poorer tomorrow.