Can You Go Back?

In my early 30s, I was pretty much a slut. My husband at the time wanted to have a more open marriage and while I objected at first, by the time we hit our mid 30s I had some group sex, gangbangs, a couple of glory holes. I had sex with a man for money at my husband's request. I went on a vacation to Cancun with a man I barely knew and sent pics and vids of all the sex we had to my husband. He swapped me regularly with other couples, maybe close to 10 I think. Some substances were involved as well, but that never got our of control.

As we moved into late 30s I noticed it. My husband no longer loved me and all the fun, silly, intimate stuff had stopped. All he cared about was what slutty thing he could set up for me next, and what girl he could go off with for the night himself. He didn't really hide it anymore, just had a bag by the door ready to go whatever night he wanted to be out with someone else. I don't think he kissed me for four full months at one point, and when he did fuck me he was limp unless I talked about the other men or he verbally degraded me. He peed on me once, can't believe how hard that got him.

So this year I got the courage to move on. I also did some soul searching and instead of having Hot Girl Spring, I took some to do a little counseling and just be alone. Now I wonder, as I get ready to try dating again, can I go back to not doing those slutty things? I never really like anal so I'd like to never do that again. I had sex with so many random men I don't even remember their names or what they did that was special or even if I came. All I really remember is my now ex husband's leering face in every encounter.

I have my eye on a guy in my new apartment complex, also recently divorced. I'm afraid to approach him. Will he already have heard of me? Would he want to cuddle on the couch or make dinner together or just be willing to hold my hand in public? Will he be able to kiss me?

Has anyone else successfully stopped being a slut? Does it get better?