OK I have written before without feedback-somebody please tell me if I am going crazy or want. I was only in the sixth or seventh-grade when I saw a wrestling magazine. There were two beautiful women going at it pretty strongly. The brunette was taking on the blond champion who had never won before. The photographs showed that brunette groin kicking the blond with no mercy like a guy or something. Several years later I found out it was not even true (all fictitious) especially the articles. I am an adult now who has been married and divorced. I don't know if I am just lonely or what the problem is but I cannot get those images and stories out of my head. I want so badly to be ball-busted by a bikini clad beauty. I just can't seem to get this crazy fantasy out of my memory bank. I confided in one girl about this and she suggested castration to eliminate the desire. I would never consider this and probably could never follow through with the fantasy anyway. But why can't I get over this? I know it sounds foolish but will someone make some suggestions on how to overcome this? Is it very harmful to keep thinking this without following through? I just am confused and I do know how weird this sounds. Thanks for feedback and I don't even care if you humiliate me or something like that at this point-see where I am coming from?? Thank you