I Gave In An Inch And He's Taken The Proverbial Mile

I am a 43 year old lesbian with a 7 year old child. She came along the result of that time when I lost control of myself and fell prey to a man intent on sex with me. I was 35 then, making good money, in charge of litigation. I was between relationships after a hard breakup. He was one of the too few men I respected, a brilliant mind, a hard working man, he was the head of the legal department, 51 with a wife and two college age daughters.

We went to lunch to discuss a case and I had different opinions. He grabbed my hand to get my attention and didn't let go, He had never touched me before. I had never felt that feeling, without a word he was telling me to pay attention to him and keep my mouth closed. I got the listen to experience speech, and I got the sometimes you need to be a woman, 'I'm sick and tired of your got to be a man routine at work'. It is in my nature, I'm competitive and assertive, my balls are just as big as any man's. But not as big as his, he held my hand tight, not letting go, forcing his will on me, I kept hearing him make his arguments but all I heard was 'shut up and listen'. I heard over the arguments, squeezing my hand until it hurt 'shut up, I need you to be a woman for once, just fucking be a woman'. Against all my instincts and my character I shut up. He held my hand after that, a man holding a woman's hand.

If you give in an inch you give in a mile. There is no such thing as a tiny surrender. I tried to regain my position but it wasn't going to happen. The conversation went all around the world, he pretty much told me how I was to handle the litigation, and on the way back to the office he told me outright that this 'lesbian' thing had just about run its course with him. Get over it, what you need is good fucking. I answered, with 'I can't help it'.

You guessed it, he wanted to fuck me, bad. I guess is a lot of ways I always knew it. Now he had decided to do it. Like a lamb led to slaughter there was no escape. No fences, no jails, but I was just as trapped. The experience itself was uncomfortable beyond expression, in all my life I had never given up control, and here this man was sticking his penis in my vagina and when I tried to buck him off he slapped my thigh and held me down by force, he wasn't playing. There was no discussion about anything dealing with pregnancy. For me it was an afterthought, it crept into my mind over the next days. For him, men do the fucking and they are going to come in you. And you're welcome.

I was pregnant, hence my daughter. And he's the father. And that tiny little inch is all he needed to impose his authority over me. I'm nowhere near submissive. I argue, discuss, but I know when to listen. When the man talks you listen. I know the tone of voice, I guess I always knew it from the time I went to work for him. My daughter knows it instinctively. I'm still in charge of litigation, but with a bigger title. I'm Senior Counsel, a little bit of nepotism.

I have a new girlfriend, we have been going together for a couple of years, she's also an attorney and works for a nonprofit, she's still idealistic, she's my baby and I love her. We don't live together because quite frankly I don't have permission. He comes over to see his daughter and sometimes he wants to wake up with me and have breakfast together. His wife knows, he calls her when he is staying the night. And I have to let my girlfriend know he is staying over. It's not sex, it's not sex. But it is sex and I accommodate him between my legs and hold him tight to me until it's over. His victory, my surrender.