Drunk Barefoot Frenchman

I was having dinner at a nice French Restaurant until some dunk idiot wearing a beret, a striped shirt, black pants, and was barefoot walked in and started speaking in quite possibly the worst French accent trying to flirt with me.

He called me mademoiselle and said "Oui Oui Oui, Wanna French Kiss My Feet?" and put his dirty, stinky ass feet on my table and I told him to get away from me as I hit the idiot with my French Wine despite him being obviously intoxicated.

Then the Frenchman said "Oui Oui Oui, I gots to pee" and then walked inside the restroom barefoot and I was completely grossed out that I could not eat my Chicken Cordon Blue.

The Frenchman left the restroom several minutes later wearing a pair of dirty underwear and he was playing an accordion, as he was starting to get on mine and everyone's nerves in the restaurant.

Then he picked up his dirty ass bare foot in the restaurant and said "Oui Oui Oui, I've Gotta smell my feet" and started smelling his fucking feet inside of the restaurant waiters showed up to ask this man to leave the restaurant.

"Then he started doing the French Tickler Dance and then stumbled and fell to the floor as I laughed my ass off at this idiot as Waiters tried to help this idiot up and escort him out of the restaurant.

But the idiot broke loose and went over to my table and snatched my Chicken Cordon Bleu, put his foot on my chicken cordon bleu and started sucking his fucking toes on my fucking chicken cordon bleu as I took his accordion and tossed it at him knocking his idiot ass over and then I grabbed a bottle of wine and hit him in he head with it as the barefoot drunk Frenchman raised the white flag of surrender as restaurant staff dragged this half naked scoundrel out of the restaurant.

My night has been ruined once again by some idiot who plays with himself in public, why am I the target always of drunks and their feet? *shudders.*