I'm So Ashamed Of Myself But I Can't Help It

Ever since I hit puberty I've been storing most of my fat on my tummy, and whenever I look in the mirror and see my belly hanging over my jeans it turns me on so much. I usually wear baggy clothes to hide it, but I want my friends to find out I have a fat belly and expose it in the most embarrassing way possible. I want them to laugh at me and poke my belly button to humiliate me. I want them to fat shame me and say degrading things about my tummy. I even want them to do it in front of my crush once, and I wanna feel my cheeks heating up from the embarrassment the whole time. What can I do to turn this fantasy into reality, without telling them?