I Want To Experience A Gay Encounter To Include Oral And Anal Sex

I am 33 and I am admitting that I have strong homosexual behaviors. I also admit that entering into a homosexual act has been difficult. I have wet dreams, masturbations at night, dreaming about performing oral sex and receiving anal sex. I don't have a fixation on any one person, the fantasies are anonymous except for the type. Always the same type of man. I will admit to a homosexual episode in the fourth grade with a seventh grade boy which involved performing oral sex on him and receiving him on my back (both naked at the time) where he masturbated to completion with his penis in my crack. I often dream about that and I have strong feelings to have a man lay on my back and I want to feel a penis against me and I would like to be penetrated completely and fucked to completion.

I was invited to a party several months ago and a man was there who was not overtly gay, but he and I talked for a long time and he hugged me and kissed me. He asked if I minded that he had done that and I told him I didn't. But that is as far as that went. I want to have another chance and I want it to progress to oral and anal sex with him. My friend who's party I attended does not know him other than casually, he is a friend of a friend. How do I get the message to him? I will need him to take the initiative.

So yes, I am convinced that I am homosexual, gay.